Mother's Milk
by InvisiblePrincess2002
Summary: AU. When Jo experiences a sudden crisis with her health, ugly family secrets come to the surface and it's up to Mrs. Garrett and the girls to help her through it. As Jo's physical condition worsens and tragedy strikes, Eastland is shaken to its core.
1. Used

**Author's Note: **This story is based on the NBC television series _The Facts of Life_, which as far as I know, is the property of Embassy Television, Columbia Pictures Television, and Sony Pictures Television **No infringement is intended.**

**Chapter 1: Used**

"Jo, when are you going to realize that this isn't just about _you?!_" Rose Polniaczek railed at her eighteen-year-old daughter Jo. Jo had left her school in Peekskill to come home and visit Rose that Friday evening in early February. She had been looking forward to spending the weekend with Rose, but unfortunately, soon after arriving at Rose's apartment, the two found themselves in a shouting match. While it had always seemed on the surface that Jo and Rose had a great relationship, in fact, they had a sea of underlying pain and conflict. "Your education at Eastland means everything to me!" Rose cried out a moment later, while Jo braced herself inside for the inevitable guilt trip she knew was coming. "Don't you realize what I put myself through every day to send you to Eastland?! All my life, _I yearned _for the kind of opportunity _I'm_ _killing myself _to give you right now. I always wanted to have a quality education when I was growing up. I always wanted to go to college. I always dreamed of having the chance to make something more of myself. Do you think _I wanted _to spend my life stuck in this hellhole, being nothing more than a cocktail waitress?!"

Jo let out a sad sigh and quietly responded, "Of course not, Ma."

"How do you think it makes me feel when I receive a call from the school telling me that you're cutting classes?! They say you that you recently went over a week without going to English class, and they also tell me that you haven't been to gym class for the past two weeks straight. How do you think something like that is supposed to make me feel?! I'm back here working my fingers to the bone to pay for your school tuition while you're in Peekskill skipping classes and goofing off and doing whatever the heck you please! Don't you have an _ounce _of respect for what I put myself through every day so that I can send you to a place like Eastland?!"

"Of course I do. I never meant to hurt you, Ma. It's just that when I found out how sick Gail was, it was so hard to face her. It hurt so much thinking about what was happening to her; about how I was going to lose another friend. I felt I just couldn't handle the pain…so I tried to run away by avoiding her. I know you're right. I know how selfish I've been lately. I know how wrong I was to make it all about me when Gail was the one was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. And I know that my education at Eastland isn't just about me. I know it's about you too. I know that when I go to class at Eastland every day, I'm not only takin' myself. I know I'm takin' you and the whole neighborhood along with me. Like I said, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you feel disrespected. I realize what a big sacrifice it is for you to put me through Eastland, and if there was any way that I could foot the entire bill myself so you wouldn't have to work so hard all the time, I would."

Rose sighed then and said, "I just need you to understand that the opportunity for you to go to a school like Eastland and then to college next fall isn't the kind of opportunity that comes along every day. You're only gonna get one shot at this, Jo. _One. _You simply cannot afford to be careless with a chance like this. This is literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity – one that _I _will _never _get. Don't you dare take this for granted, Jo. _And don't you dare _do something stupid, like skipping classes, getting into trouble, running your mouth, breaking the rules. You did more than enough of that back when you were running around with that hoodlum gang of yours. When you're studying at Eastland, what you learn there could help you become anything in the world, like an architect or a journalist or a doctor. The only thing you'll ever learn around here with that street gang is how to be a bully – and like it or not, Jo, before you went to Eastland, that's all you were – a bully." Jo didn't show it, but the instant her mother called her a bully, it was all she could do to keep from crying. "I want you to be more than that," Rose continued a moment later. "I want you to do something more with your life than just wasting it running around with a bunch of stupid thugs. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, Ma. I understand. You don't have to beat me over the head with a club. I get it that while I'm goin' to classes at Eastland, livin' my life with my friends in Peekskill, you're back here workin' your butt off. That's all I ever think about. Just because I had a few bad days and skipped a few classes doesn't mean that I'm throwin' it all away. It just means that I had a few bad days."

"You can't afford to just take off running every single time there's a bump in the road, Jo. You don't see me running away from all of my responsibilities whenever I have 'a few bad days,' do you? No. You don't. And the reason why is because I realize that I don't have that luxury. It's time you realized it, too. It's time you stopped thinking only about yourself."

That did it. That sentence was the last straw. Jo couldn't take it anymore. Jo had a very deep love and respect for Rose, and she didn't want to be angry at her or for there to be a lot of tension between them, but it was completely unavoidable now. She'd been telling the truth when she'd said that Rose's sacrifices and constant hard work were all she ever thought about. Mrs. Polniaczek's burdens were an unending source of pain and guilt for her inside. Jo had known it for most of her life that Rose really would have been better off had she never been born; that way, she might have had a chance to save up some money from her two waitressing jobs, go to college, and make a better life for herself. Instead, thanks to Jo, all of Rose's time, energy, _and _money had to be poured into Jo's education and future, and Rose could never have anything for herself. Jo had been painfully aware of that for years, and deep down, she'd always hated herself for it. And the _last _thing she needed now was to have her mother rub more salt into her wounds. She didn't need to hear Rose go on and on and on about her mistakes and accuse her of only thinking of herself. Again, Jo did love and respect Rose very much, but she knew that if she didn't get out of that apartment _now_, she would wind up saying some hurtful things to her that she would regret later.

Without saying another word, Jo grabbed her coat and walked out of her mother's apartment. Rose called after her, but it was no use. It would be a while yet before Jo would be able to deal with her again.

This was the side of Jo's life that almost no one ever saw. On the surface, it always appeared as though Rose Polniaczek was the perfect, hardworking, saintly mother, sprinkled in fairy dust. Almost everybody in Jo's life took one look at her and Rose and came to the false conclusion that Rose worked as hard as she did every day because she valued Jo's well-being more than her own, as mothers are supposed to do. To be perfectly honest, even a part of _Jo _still bought into that illusion. However, beneath the surface, it turned out that Rose Polniaczek was _not _the saint everybody thought she was. It _was _indeed true that Rose was working very hard to put Jo through Eastland and keep her out of their gang-infested neighborhood, but at the core of her being, she was actually _not _doing it for _Jo's _sake at all. She was doing it out of her own self-serving desire to live vicariously through Jo. Rose played the part of the loving, giving mother incredibly well through the years, but more often than not, behind closed doors, the saintly mask came off and Rose made it painfully obvious to Jo how much she resented all the sacrifices she'd had to make for her over the years. Sadly, there was a very real reason why Jo beat up on herself all the time inside and had such a guilt complex, and _Rose _was that reason. More than once over the years, Rose had made Jo feel as though she would have been better off had Jo never been born. To put it mildly, it had always been (and still was) an agonizing, crushing burden for Jo to bear inside that practically nobody ever _really _understood.

Thankfully for Jo, though, she did have _one _person in her life who understood, and she ran into her about twenty minutes later down at the community rec room. When Jo saw her sitting at a small table near the vending machine drinking a soda, she smiled.

"Hey, Jessie?" she called, and the nineteen-year-old brunette turned her head. When she spotted Jo, she smiled in return.

"Hiya, Jo," she responded. "Come on over here and take a load off your feet, huh?"

"Yeah, I think I will," Jo said as she walked over to the table. After taking the seat across from Jessie, she told her, "Thanks."

"Yeah, don't mention it. So what's new? How's everything goin' up at that fancy school of yours?"

"I can't complain," Jo said quietly, and it wasn't hard for Jessie to see the sadness in Jo's eyes then, but she decided not to press her. "How's the new job?" she asked a moment later.

When Jo had returned to her old neighborhood for a visit with Jessie over ten months ago, Jessie had been the same tough, battle-hardened, angry gangster as always. Once Jo had left her neighborhood in the Bronx for the small town of Peekskill a couple of years ago, she'd gotten caught up in her new life as an Eastland student, and for a time, she and Jessie fell out of touch. She'd excelled in the classroom, and she'd found a new family with the school dietician, Mrs. Edna Garrett, and with her three roommates, Blair Warner, Natalie Green, and Tootie Ramsey. But when she'd returned to her old neighborhood and spent some time with Jessie again, it reminded Jo that there were people back home like Jessie who were just as hurting and angry as she'd once been, who still needed help. After she returned to Eastland, she made up her mind to keep in touch with Jessie and to keep reaching out to her. It took a lot of work for Jo to get through all of Jessie's anger, but eventually, thanks mostly to Jo's influence, Jessie began to make positive changes in her life. She finally left their old street gang, recently got a job as a mechanic, and she was currently staying with a mutual friend of theirs until she could save up enough money to get her own apartment.

Jessie nodded and replied, "It's not half bad. If you tell anybody I said this, I'll bash your brains in, but the truth is, it actually gives ya a good feelin' inside, earnin' your own paycheck for a change rather than stealin' all the time."

Jo smiled, gave her a hard but friendly thump on the shoulder, and said, "I knew you'd do well, Jess. It's like I keep tellin' ya: ya don't need that gang to survive. You're strong and clever. You can do anything you set your mind to."

"Thanks. Who knows? I just might make somethin' of myself after all."

"_You are _making something of yourself right now, and I'm proud of you," Jo told her, and while Jessie didn't say anything, her eyes definitely lit up when Jo said that. For many years, Jo had been the little sister Jessie never had, and although Jessie never said it to Jo out loud, it remained an unspoken truth between them that way deep down inside, Jessie wanted to make Jo proud of her; that the example Jo had set with her education at Eastland had in fact inspired her to turn her own life around.

"Yeah, well, it's not like a preppie education or a college degree, but it's somethin'."

"Yeah. It's something," Jo agreed. "And who knows? Maybe one of these days, you can get your G.E.D. and then save up some money and take a couple of courses at a junior college."

"Please, Jo. Let me take this one step at a time. I only recently gave up my life of crime," Jessie joked, and Jo chuckled a bit.

"You're doin' great, Jessie. You really are."

"Thanks. I'm tryin', anyway," Jessie said, and Jo nodded. Then after a long, silent moment passed between them, she asked, "So, how's your mom?"

Jo sighed and responded, "She is _not _happy with me right now."

Jessie rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, boy. What's her gripe this time?"

"She's mad at me because I've been skippin' English class and gym."

"Why've you been skippin' your classes? I thought you liked it up there at that fancy joint."

"_I do _like it at Eastland. It's just that I've run into some problems lately."

"What problems?"

Jo sighed again, and she answered, "A little while back, my English teacher, Gail Gallagher, was diagnosed with a terminal illness and she had to leave school. Gail hasn't just been my teacher this year. She's been my friend – one of the closest friends I've ever had, as a matter of fact."

"Oh man," Jessie said quietly. "That's rough."

"Yeah, it is. And when I found out how sick she was, I just couldn't handle it for a while. I lost my friend Gloria when she decided to jump off the school roof years ago. I lost my dad for many years when he ran out on Ma and me and then got sent to prison. I started skippin' English class because I just couldn't stand the thought of bein' around Gail and bein' reminded that…I was gonna lose somebody else."

Jessie knowingly nodded and said, "I get it."

Jo sighed again, and then she asked, "Why can't Ma be like that? Why can't _Ma _ever understand, or at the very least, _try _to understand? The only thing Ma ever cares about is that for a few days, I didn't tow the line at Eastland. She never cares about _why. _She never cares about what _I'm _going through inside. She only cares that I made a mistake; that for a little while, I wasn't the perfect Eastland student. You'd almost think it was _her _education we were talkin' about."

"I know. I've seen how your mom has treated you over the years. I know that despite popular opinion, she ain't the easiest person to get along with."

"Yeah," Jo said sadly. "I mean, I love my mother. I've _always _loved my mother. I'm not _proud _of the fact that just my bein' here makes her day-to-day life so much tougher."

"Now you just hold on one second, Polniaczek. Your bein' here is a _good _thing. It's a _very _good thing. You mean a lot to a lot of people. Me. Your family. Your friends up at that school. And if that mother of yours had any sense, she wouldn't act like it was such a burden to put you through Eastland. If she had a brain inside that skull of hers, she'd see that you were worth it."

"Hey, lay off Ma, Jessie," Jo warned.

Jessie shook her head and told her, "No, Jo, _I won't _lay off her. Not this time. I know that she brought you into the world, but still, that doesn't give her the right to treat you the way she does. A real mother wouldn't act like every single thing she does for her child is some kinda sacrifice. A real mother wouldn't resent havin' to put her kid before herself. A real mother wouldn't hold every little thing over her kid's head twenty-four-seven and constantly make her kid feel like crap. A real mother would be _glad _to work hard to send you to Eastland. She wouldn't resent you for it. And she _also _wouldn't be a jerk to you when your friend is dyin', either. Face it, Jo. Your so-called 'mom' is a creep. She may have the rest of the world fooled into thinkin' she's some kinda angel, but you and I both know she's not. We _both _know she hasn't been doin' you right all these years."

"Yeah, but it's not like I made it easy for her while I was growin' up. When Pop ran out on us, she was already in a lot of pain, and then the divorce happened and I started hangin' out with the Young Diablos. I really put her through a lot when I joined that street gang and started actin' up and cuttin' classes and stayin' out 'til all hours. She didn't need me joining a street gang and turning into a bully like I did."

"But that only happened because she was never there for you. I was there with you through it all. I remember how it was. Whenever she wasn't gone from the house workin', she was cryin' over _your _shoulder about her divorce like a little baby while you were on your own. _You _didn't have _anybody _to turn to except Yours Truly and the rest of the Young Diablos. You certainly didn't have _your mom_ to turn to. She conveniently forgot that _she _was supposed to be the _adult _and be there for _you_ after you got ditched by your father, _not _the other way around. You were just a kid. It was _never _your job to be her shrink. You should never have had to mother your own mother at age thirteen. Face it, Jo: in the parent department, you always got the short end of the stick. You _always_ deserved better…from _both _of your parents. And as for you not makin' things easy on your mom, well, that's just tough. Bein' a mom _isn't _easy. Everybody knows that. But like it or not, that _is _what Rose Polniaczek signed on for when she had unprotected sex. If your mother wanted an easier life, she shouldda swallowed a birth control pill or made your father wear a condom before havin' sex with him. It was _her _fault she wasn't more responsible about her sex life eighteen years ago, _not yours_, and she has no right to blame you for any of it_._ The bottom line is, old 'Saint Rose,' as everybody calls her, needs to grow up, put her big girl panties on, start accepting responsibility for her own life, and _stop _blaming everything that goes wrong in her life on you. End of story."

"I know," Jo said quietly. "I know you're right. But Ma _does _love me, Jessie…in her own way."

"In her own way," Jessie said skeptically. "That just sounds like a B.S. cop-out to me. Your mother has _never _really been there for you. She always acts like she resents everything she has to do for you. I wouldn't call that 'love.'"

"Okay, so Ma isn't exactly a saint. But neither am I."

"Maybe not, but that still doesn't mean that you deserve the crappy way she treats you behind closed doors. _You don't._ You deserve better. You really do."

"I guess," Jo sighed. "I don't know. Sometimes, I just get so sick and tired of feelin' like I have to carry Ma and Pop and the whole neighborhood around on my shoulders. I always feel like it's not just _me _that's goin' to school at Eastland and getting ready to start college next fall. I always feel like I have to carry Ma and everybody else with me because they never got a chance to go to a fancy school like Eastland and then to college. It'd just be nice if I could have one day, _just one day_, where _I _was the only person I had to be responsible for and I didn't have to be so scared of lettin' Ma and our whole neighborhood down."

"Jo, you're not responsible for all of them. _Forget them. _Most of 'em never did anything for you anyway; they only judged you when things went wrong. And besides, it's not as if your mom and the rest of the neighborhood are a bunch of little kids, and you are not their mother. They're adults, and they need to _act _like adults and accept responsibility for their own lives and not put any of it off on you."

"Thanks for sayin' that."

"It's just the truth."

"Yeah, but it feels good to hear somebody actually _say it_," Jo told her, and then she let out a sad sigh. "I love Ma. I really do. And I know she works her butt off every day to try and give me a better life than the one she had. But for some reason, especially when we have fights like this and she goes on and on about how she never had the kind of opportunity she's giving me and how I owe it to her to do better…it just makes me feel so…_used_. I know that probably doesn't make any sense."

"Actually, I think it makes perfect sense. It ain't exactly a _secret _how much your mother resents it that she never got to go to a nice school or get a college education. Don't you get it, Jo? Your mom's not doin' any of this for _your _benefit. She's not doin' it because she's worried about what might happen to you if you couldn't get out of this gang-infested hellhole by goin' away to that school. She's just doin' it for herself. Puttin' you through that fancy school, havin' _you _livin' out _her _dreams…it gives her a kind of high in a way, like a drug or somethin'. Your mother _is _using you, Jo. In a weird, messed-up kinda way, she's a druggie who's gettin' her highs from you goin' off to that school. She ain't bustin' her butt every day because she wants to help give _you_ a good life or because she's concerned about _you_. She's only doin' it to get high, just like any drug addict."

After pondering Jessie's profound observations for several moments, Jo finally admitted, "You know, Jess, you just may be onto somethin'. You may be right." Jo then laughed a little and shook her head at herself, and she said, "Boy, who'd have thought that _you _would end up bein' _my _shrink?"

Jessie dismissed what Jo said with a wave of her hand, and she responded, "Eh, don't worry about it. You've been my shrink tons of times over the years. I'm just returnin' the favor."

Jo smiled and said, "I know I said this already, but I'm proud of ya, Jess. You're not that same angry kid I grew up with that always tried to pick a fight with the whole rest of the world. You've really grown up a lot since I last saw you."

"I still can't stand the rest of the world," Jessie admitted. "I still think that most other people are low, rotten, self-serving creeps."

"Many people are," Jo sadly agreed.

"But that's no excuse for makin' a mess out of my own life, wastin' it in a gang or behind bars. You made me see that."

"I'm glad."

"Hey listen, Jordan's out of town for the next couple of weeks visiting her aunt, so I've got the apartment to myself. You wanna come home with me tonight?"

"Yeah. Hey thanks, Jessie. I really appreciate that. _I do not _wanna go home tonight. That's for sure."

"Yeah, I don't blame ya. I wouldn't wanna go home either if I was in your shoes."

"Are you sure it'll be alright with Jordan? Because you know if it's not, we could always go to my Aunt Deb's apartment."

"C'mon, Jo. This is Jordan we're talkin' about. Of course she won't care. Not if it's you."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Anyway, after all of tonight's drama with Ma, I could really use a good night's sleep."

"I can tell. No offense, Jo, but you really don't look very good right now."

"I don't _feel _very good, either. I don't know what's been goin' on with me lately. I just haven't been myself."

"You do look pretty tired. Maybe a good night's sleep will help. Come on," Jessie told her, and then she and Jo got up from their seats and left.


	2. Confiding in Natalie

**A/N: **See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

**Chapter 2: Confiding in Natalie**

Jo didn't go back to Mrs. Polniaczek's apartment until late Saturday afternoon, and naturally, the instant she set foot inside, she got an earful from her. Jo had actually slept at Jordan's apartment until about eleven that morning, and after she woke up, she wanted to enjoy as much of break as she could from all the drama she knew was waiting for her back home, so she stayed there and hung out with Jessie until about four that afternoon. For the rest of the weekend, things remained tense between Jo and Rose, despite the fact that they each apologized for the fight that had occurred that Friday. Their "apologies" to one another were simply their way of burying their problems even deeper than before. Rose was again playing the part of The Saintly Mother when in reality, she was nowhere close to even _seeing _the unfair way she'd been treating Jo over the years, much less actually admitting it and dealing with it. And while Jo had officially said the words "I'm sorry" to keep try and keep the peace with Rose, the truth was, even though she _did _feel bad about the recent mistakes she'd made at Eastland, she knew she _wasn't _sorry for simply being a hurting teenager.

When Jo got back to Peekskill on Sunday night and Mrs. G. and the girls asked her how her visit went, she told them everything was alright and that her mom was well, and she didn't say another word about what had happened. Ordinarily, Jo was very honest – even downright _blunt _– and she was the last person one would expect to lie. However, at the same time, she was also a terribly private person, and she just wasn't comfortable talking to them about everything that was going on between her and Rose. Mrs. Garrett, Blair, Natalie, and Tootie were _constantly _up in each other's business, telling each other practically everything that went on in their personal lives, but Jo valued her privacy and she didn't open up to the others unless she genuinely felt she needed to (or unless Mrs. G. pried it out of her). As far as Jo was concerned, what had happened between her and Rose up in the Bronx was private, and there was no need to discuss it with Mrs. Garrett and her three roommates. It wasn't as if they could actually do anything to help with the situation anyway, and with all due respect to Mrs. Garrett, Jo knew perfectly well that if she tried to spill her guts to her about it as she'd done with Jessie, her response would _not _be helpful. After all, Mrs. Garrett was one of the vast majority of the people in Jo's life who had been fooled by Rose's Saintly Mother Act. Even though she was a very caring and sweet lady, Jo knew that Mrs. Garrett simply did not understand this kind of thing the way Jessie did.

Jo wasn't always able to keep things from her Eastland family, though. For about the past month, Jo had been experiencing a disturbing symptom. When she'd try to lie down flat on her bed to go to sleep, she would suddenly wake up in the middle of the night feeling as if she were strangling, so she started sleeping downstairs in one of the living chairs in the lounge. She simply _had _to be in an upright position in order to go to sleep. Furthermore, over the past two or three months, she'd started feeling weak and tired a lot of the time. She'd assumed at first that she'd simply come down with the flu or something and that she'd get over it eventually, but no matter how much time passed, the symptoms never went away. If anything, they only got worse. Jo didn't show it and she didn't say a word about it to anyone, but the truth was, she knew it in her gut that something wasn't right with her body, and she was beginning to get concerned.

And she wasn't the only one who was concerned. Whenever they went to bed during the past month, Jo would always sit up in bed, propped behind a bunch of pillows, and wait until Blair, Natalie, and Tootie were asleep before sneaking downstairs to sleep in one of the chairs in the lounge. In the wee hours of the morning last Tuesday, Natalie had had to get up to go to the bathroom and when she did, she saw that Jo wasn't in her bed, so when she was done in the bathroom, she looked around for Jo and found her sleeping in the lounge. Naturally, someone as snoopy as Natalie wanted to wake Jo up and ask her why she was sleeping down there, sitting up in a chair nonetheless, but given how early in the morning it was, she decided not to because _nobody _was grumpier than Jo Polniaczek when woken up at that hour. But of course, that was hardly the end of Nat's nosiness. As would be expected, the budding-reporter-slash-doctor's-daughter decided to investigate the situation. For the next two nights, Natalie closed her eyes and pretended to go to sleep, just as Jo did, and she waited until she heard Jo finally get up and leave the room. Natalie tiptoed after her and saw that she did the same thing night after night, and she was determined to find out why.

And as soon as Jo got situated in one of the chairs in the lounge and closed her eyes that Sunday night after returning from the Bronx, suddenly, the lights came on, revealing the fifteen-year-old school reporter, just standing there with her arms folded across her chest.

"Nat!" Jo snapped. "What are you doin' down here?"

"What are _you _doing down here? Jo, what is going on? I know that for the past few nights, you've been coming down here to sleep in a chair. Why aren't you sleeping in your own bed?"

"_Why _is that _any _of your business?" Jo snapped once again.

"Because I'm your friend and I'm concerned about you. That's why."

Jo let out a defeated sigh, rolled her eyes, and told her, "I'm fine, Natalie. You don't have to worry. This is no big deal."

"Well if it's no big deal, then it shouldn't be a problem for you to tell me about it," Nat persisted.

"I'm sleepin' in a chair because _I want _to sleep in a chair. _Goodnight_," Jo told her firmly.

After a brief pause, Natalie asked, "Jo, are you sleeping in a chair now because you start having trouble breathing when you're lying flat in bed?"

"What makes you think that?" Jo asked in response, trying very hard to play dumb.

"Some of my dad's patients have the same problem. They can't lie flat or they'll start to feel like they're choking to death. Is that what's been happening to you?" Natalie questioned, and Jo could see it in her eyes that she wasn't about to back down until she got the answers she was fishing for.

Finally, with an exasperated sigh, Jo admitted, "Yeah. It's happened to me every time I've tried to go to sleep in my bed over the past month. I'd sleep a little while, and then I'd suddenly wake up gasping for air. I have no idea why."

Natalie then walked over closer to Jo, leaned back against the arm of the loveseat, and told her, "Jo, this could be serious. Every patient of my father's who gets symptoms like that usually has some kind of problem with their heart or lungs. You could have asthma, which is serious enough, but you could even have something wrong with your heart. You can't mess around with this. You've got to find out what's going on. You've got to go to the infirmary tomorrow and see the school nurse."

"I know something's going on, Natalie. I know my own body and I know that something isn't right. I've known that for a while now. That's why I've been workin' on savin' up some money here lately so that I can pay to go see a doctor."

"Your mom doesn't have insurance?"

"Yeah, sure. Ma's employers give her her own 401K and her own dental plan and health coverage and a two-week paid vacation every year, the works," Jo said sarcastically. "Get real, Nat. She's a cocktail waitress at two different dive bars in the Bronx. Her bosses don't give a rip about insuring their employees, and my mother can't afford health insurance on her own and she can't afford to pay out of pocket for me to go to a doctor. Ma's livin' paycheck to paycheck and whatever money doesn't go to puttin' me through this fancy school has got to be spent on things like food and rent. And anyway, this is my problem, not my mother's or anyone else's. I'll deal with it myself. Now mind your own business and go to bed."

"But I don't understand. You can go see the school nurse tomorrow morning without it costing you a cent out of pocket. Getting exams and health care from the school nurse is something that's already covered in your school tuition and fees."

"Yeah, but if I go to see her, she'll just blab it to my mother. Ma's got enough on her plate as it is. I don't want to worry her. Like I said, this is my problem and nobody else's. I'll deal with it. Don't worry, Natalie. Just as soon as I've got enough money saved up, I'll go see a doctor."

"At least let me talk to my dad about it. You're one of my closest friends. As a matter of fact, you're more than just a friend. You and Tootie and Blair and Mrs. Garrett…you're all family to me, and my parents know that. And given the fact that you're family, I'm sure I can get Dad to agree to a family discount."

"You don't have to do that," Jo said quietly, touched by Natalie's concern.

"I insist," Natalie stubbornly responded, and Jo smiled.

"You're not gonna let this go, are ya?" she asked knowingly.

Natalie looked into Jo's eyes then and told her, "I know you said not to worry about you just now, but _I am _worried about you. I can't help it. I know what happens to my father's patients when they mess around with this sort of thing and don't get to see him in time, and believe me, it's not good."

"You just have an overactive imagination. You turn every little thing into a huge drama."

What Jo was saying _was _true. Natalie did have a real tendency to make mountains out of molehills and she could be pretty melodramatic at times, but Natalie knew that this time, she wasn't just being overemotional. She knew she was _right _to be concerned about Jo's symptoms, and that Jo was basically being Jo, trying to act all tough and convince her it was no big deal.

"I know I can be like that sometimes," Nat admitted, "but now, I'm not just being dramatic. Jo, there really _could _be something going on with your heart. We've got to get to the bottom of this. We can't afford to take any chances."

"Okay, Nat," Jo finally relented. "Call your dad. See if he'll give me a family discount. But this stays between you and me and your father. _Not one word _to another soul or you can kiss your teeth goodbye. Understood?"

"Understood," Natalie agreed, knowing full how much trouble she'd be in if she _didn't _consent to keeping it a secret.

"Good. Now, I had a long trip back here from the Bronx. I'm tired. I wanna go to sleep. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Jo," said Natalie, and then as she walked out of the lounge, she turned off the lights.

* * *

The first thing Natalie did the next morning was call her father, even though it was only six-thirty. Even before helping Mrs. Garrett and the others get started on breakfast, she was on the phone in the lounge explaining Jo's problem to Dr. Green. Naturally, because it was one of his daughter's closest friends, he agreed to see her and for her visit to be on the house. Natalie informed her later in the morning that her father was expecting to see her at four-thirty that afternoon.

When Jo arrived for her appointment, she soon found that the older man had a very pleasant, easygoing demeanor. Had she and the girls and Mrs. Garrett not seen him in a restaurant in Manhattan passionately kissing another woman the year before, she would have really liked him. However, even though she still thought he was a real creep for cheating on his wife, she kept her temper in check and remained cordial towards him because she knew she really needed his help and that he was doing her a favor by seeing her for free.

Once Jo sat down on the exam table in his office that afternoon and they exchanged the usual pleasantries, Dr. Green asked, "So Jo, what seems to be the problem?"

"Didn't Natalie explain it to you?" Jo asked as she took in her surroundings. The walls were a lovely beige and were filled with a myriad of family pictures, and the carpet was a deep mahogany color. On one side of the room was a big mahogany desk and brown leather desk chair for Dr. Green, and right beside the desk were two small chairs for a patient and a family member to sit in. On the other side was an exam table, and in between stood a simple white medicine cabinet. Jo also noted all the degrees and various accomplishments that were proudly displayed above Dr. Green's desk. Dr. Green was a specialist in both general surgery and cardiothoracic surgery, and had spent around the first half of his career as a cardiothoracic surgeon before leaving that field. Now, he worked in general surgery instead. Perhaps he was a creep who was unfaithful to his wife, but as she looked at his degrees, Jo knew she could say this much for him: he certainly was brilliant and accomplished.

"She did explain it to me," Dr. Green responded, "but I'd like to hear it from you."

"Alright, uh…for the past couple of months or so, I've been feelin' pretty drained. I just haven't had as much energy as I usually have. And over the past month, I haven't been able to sleep in my bed because if I try to lie flat, I start feeling like I'm choking, so I've been sleepin' in a chair in the lounge instead."

"Any shortness of breath?" Dr. Green inquired, and the question did make Jo rather uncomfortable since she didn't really want to admit it. Even at the doctor's office, she liked to try to act all tough and pretend her health problems weren't that big a deal.

After a brief pause, Jo reluctantly admitted, "Yeah. It's been getting pretty bad here lately. I've been skippin' gym class, as a matter of fact, because I just can't handle it these days. After class, it's been so hard to breathe that I've been afraid that I would actually pass out."

"I see," Dr. Green said calmly, remaining perfectly professional, although the gears were already turning in his mind and he was concerned. He knew there were a number of potentially serious – even deadly – possibilities. "Jo, give me an idea of your medical history. Tell me about everything. Did you get sick a lot as a child?"

"Eh…I'd say I got sick about as much as your average kid. I had colds, the flu, fevers, sore throats, rashes, just like everybody else. Nothin' to write home about."

"Well, in my profession, you never can tell. Things that seem like no big deal can sometimes have some surprising medical consequences. Let me have a listen, here," he said, and then he listened carefully to Jo's heart and lungs with his stethoscope.

"How am I sounding, Doc?" Jo asked a few moments later.

"I don't mean to scare you, Jo, but I'm not going to lie to you, either. I'm hearing some abnormalities, here. To be more specific, I'm hearing a kind of heart murmur. A lot of heart murmurs are harmless, but others are quite serious."

"And you think that the kind of heart murmur I have is one of the more serious ones," Jo observed.

"I do," he told her truthfully. "That's why I'm going to have my receptionist make some calls and arrange for you to go to the hospital for some tests, so we can find out for certain what it is exactly that we're dealing with."

"I appreciate the thought, Dr. Green, but that's just not an option. Ma doesn't have insurance and she can't afford a bunch of hospital bills. It's all she can do to keep a roof over her own head every month and help pay for all my expenses at Eastland."

"There are programs that can help you and your mother with the costs."

"'Programs?' You mean charity, don't you? Handouts for poor people. Again, Dr. Green, I appreciate the thought, but I don't think so. Ma and I are not some charity case, and I've got my pride."

"I hate to sound melodramatic, but pride will do you and your mother little good if you're dead. Jo, this isn't a cold or a stubbed toe we're talking about. We're talking about a potentially serious complication with your heart. This is your _life_. You simply cannot afford to mess around. We've got to get to the bottom of this. We've simply got to find out what the problem is so we can treat it properly, and the sooner we do that, the better."

Jo let out a frustrated sigh, knowing in her gut how right Dr. Green was.

"I'll have Shirley make some calls and get the paperwork started so you and your mother will have some help with the costs," he told her a moment later. "And I'll have her call the hospital and make the arrangements."

"I won't have to be admitted, will I?"

"No. It can all be done as an outpatient. I'll order an EKG and an MRI of your heart, as well as an echocardiogram, which is basically an ultrasound of your heart, and a stress test."

"Sheesh. You're really ordering the works on me, aren't you?"

With a kind smile, Dr. Green told her, "Like Natalie said to me over the telephone this morning, you're extended family. I prefer to be as thorough as possible with all my patients anyway, but anyone who's extended family of the Greens is definitely going to get 'the works.'"

Not knowing what to say, Jo simply smiled awkwardly for a moment. Finally, after exchanging a couple of pleasantries with him, Jo left the exam room.

When Jo spoke to Shirley, Dr. Green's receptionist, on her way out the door, she learned that she was expected at the large medical complex in Manhattan where Dr. Green worked the following day at nine in the morning. After speaking with Shirley for a brief moment, Jo headed for the train station and returned to Peekskill.

* * *

Naturally, the instant Jo set foot in the Eastland cafeteria again, she had to explain to Natalie what was going on, although she swore her friend to secrecy once again. In typical Jo fashion, the last thing she wanted was to make a big deal about everything and worry others, particularly Mrs. Polniaczek and Mrs. Garrett. As always, the highly independent teenager was determined to handle everything on her own. She told Mrs. Garrett, Blair, and Tootie that Mrs. Polniaczek had sprained her ankle and needed her to come home for a day or two to help out around the apartment, and of course, they bought the story. While Natalie was indeed tempted to "blab" everything to Mrs. G. or one of the girls, given Jo's temper, she didn't dare. It was difficult for her as she was such a worrier, but the next day when Jo left the Eastland campus in the wee hours of the morning to catch the train to Manhattan, Natalie kept her mouth shut. Amazingly enough, she managed to get through the whole day without saying a word to anyone, which for Natalie, was quite an accomplishment.

That Wednesday morning, Dr. Green called Jo and asked her to come back into his office later in the afternoon to discuss her test results. It was then that Jo's world really began to change. Before coming into his office that day, she was still a regular teenage tomboy whose mind was typically on things like motorcycles and races and classes. After a long, draining discussion with Dr. Green, though, suddenly, words like rheumatic heart disease, mitral stenosis, mitral regurgitation, aortic stenosis, aortic regurgitation, and atrial fibrillation invaded her vocabulary and her thoughts.

When Jo got back to Eastland late that evening, Mrs. Garrett and the girls had already finished cleaning up the kitchen and the cafeteria after supper, and Blair, Tootie, and Mrs. G. were in the lounge watching a movie together. Natalie, on the other hand, was impatiently waiting in the girls' room upstairs for Jo to return, and she couldn't stop pacing back and forth.

The moment Jo came through the door, Natalie said, "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"What did my dad tell you?"

"Nat, please," Jo sighed. "I really don't want to talk about it."

"Jo, you're scaring me. I want to know what's going on. I want to know what this is. I know that if you 'really don't want to talk about it,' it must be something serious."

"What it _is_, Natalie, is private," Jo barked at her, and then she stomped over to the side of her bed, sat down, pulled a novel out from underneath her pillow that her English class was reading at the moment, and started trying to read it.

Natalie responded by walking up to her and stubbornly yanking the book out of her hands.

"Nat, I'm already on edge tonight, and if you don't back off _now_, I'm tellin' ya, you're askin' for a shot!" Jo yelled.

"I don't care! Jo, you're my friend. You're one of the closest friends I've ever had and I'm worried about you. I know what a private person you are, but I'm not going to let you shut me out now. I deserve to know the truth because I care about you."

Jo then rose to her feet and paced a little herself before finally looking Natalie in the eye and responding, "You want the truth, Nat? Here's the truth. When I was a little kid, I got sore throats and rashes all the time. Ma never took me to a doctor because she's never had any health insurance and whatever money she had had to go to paying the rent. She and I both thought my frequent sore throats and weird rashes and occasional aching joints were no big deal, and we never made a fuss about it. After all, kids are always gettin' sick in this world with sore throats and fevers and the flu, right? Well, guess what? It turns out that, in your father's medical opinion, all those sore throats I used to get were actually cases of strep throat. You let strep throat go untreated for too long, and then guess what happens? Sometimes, if you're lucky like me, it progresses into rheumatic fever that goes undetected because in my neighborhood, you only see the inside of a doctor's office if you've got a broken bone or you're dyin'. And then guess what happens to you years later, after getting a few good doses of rheumatic fever as a kid? You wind up with leaky or thickened heart valves that can't work right anymore, and you find out that you need an operation to replace one of those messed up heart valves and repair another – an operation a cocktail waitress like your mother couldn't even _begin _to afford. So your only option is to shut your mouth, not say a word to your mother since there's nothing she can do about it anyway, and try to move on with your life and just _hope_ that you don't die before you can finish college and get a job that _does _give you health insurance so you can get the operation you need."

Stunned, Natalie remained silent for several long moments. Finally, she said quietly, "Wow, Jo. I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing _to _say, Natalie. It is what it is. I just have to deal with it as best I can and move on with my life."

"Didn't my father talk you into applying for financial assistance at the hospital so your tests would be paid for? Why can't you just do that again?"

"I didn't apply for 'financial assistance,' Natalie. I applied for _charity_. The bills for all the tests Dr. Green ran on me yesterday are gonna be paid by a couple of churches in the area that foot the bill for medical testing on _charity cases_ like me. But even though my testing's gonna be paid for, the operation I need costs tens of thousands of dollars, and those churches ain't gonna foot the entire bill for something that expensive. I can fill out the paperwork and apply for more charity to pay part of the cost of my surgery, but Ma would still have to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket, and that's money she and I _do not have. _The way I see it, I don't have any other choice but to keep this to myself and wait until I can start a good career someday that gives me the health insurance I need so I can finally get this taken care of. I appreciate all your concern, Nat, but at the end of the day, this is nobody's problem but my own, and it's up to me to deal with it in my own way. And I _don't _want Ma or anybody else findin' out about this. There's no sense in tellin' them and gettin' them all worried and upset over something they can't do anything about. This stays between you and me. Understand?"

"But Jo–"

"_Understand?_" Jo interrupted in a loud, commanding tone, and Natalie knew it was best to back down.

"I understand," Natalie sighed.

"Good. Now will you do me a favor and get outta here for a while? I want to be alone."

"Okay," Nat said quietly, and then she exited the bedroom, and Jo sat down on the side of her bed again and sighed with frustration.


	3. Jessie's Visit

**A/N: **See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

**Chapter 3: Jessie's Visit**

Over the next several weeks, Natalie tried in vain to convince Jo to, at the very least, discuss the situation with Mrs. Polniaczek. Naturally, though, Jo was as stubborn as ever and she utterly refused to back down. Although she and Natalie even got into a few shouting matches over it, she dug her heels in and simply would not change her mind. Of course, Natalie considered just ratting Jo out to Mrs. Polniaczek or Mrs. Garrett anyway, but she was afraid of what would happen if she did anything to upset Jo too much, given her heart condition. Even their heated arguments about the subject worried her terribly. It deeply frightened Natalie whenever they fought about it and Jo got angry and started yelling; when that happened, Natalie was terrified that the additional stress would only make Jo's condition worse.

Finally, one Tuesday afternoon in mid-March, less than a week before all the faculty and students at Eastland were scheduled to go home for spring break, Natalie's best friend Tootie couldn't stand all the obvious tension between her and Jo any longer and she began prying the truth out of her.

"Natalie, I know I've asked you this a million times before over the past few weeks, but I'm asking again, and this time, I want a straight answer. I am _not _leaving this room until you talk to me," Tootie informed Natalie as she stood in front of her with her arms folded across her chest. They were alone together in their room while Blair was downstairs on the phone in the lounge, talking to her boyfriend from Bates, and Jo was out on her bike, only God knew where. "What is going on between you and Jo?" Tootie persisted. "Neither one of you have been your usual selves for weeks, and the two of you won't talk to anybody about it. Not to me. Not to Mrs. Garrett. Not to anyone. But we all know that something's going on between you two; we all know that something's wrong. And I want to know what it is. You have to tell me."

"Tootie, you don't understand. I mean…you're right about me and Jo. There is something going on, and I have officially been sworn to secrecy. There are _reasons _why I can't tell you about everything. _Important _reasons_._"

"Nat, I'm very worried about you and Jo. If something's wrong in your life or Jo's, don't you think I have a right to know?"

Natalie let out a very frustrated sigh, rolled her eyes, and angrily told her, "_No_, Tootie, you _don't _have an automatic right to know about every tiny detail of a person's private life! Sooner or later, you're going to have to grow up and realize that there are some things in other people's lives that simply aren't any of your business!"

"I didn't mean it like that. I know that this secret between you and Jo isn't gossip. I know that whatever it is that's going on between you guys, it's something really serious, and I'm worried about both of you. I know I've earned my reputation as a nosey gossip at Eastland, but I don't want to gossip about you and Jo now. I just want to be a good friend. I want to know what's going on so that maybe I can help."

Natalie sighed once again, and she closed her eyes and held her thumb and index finger over her eyelids for several long moments as Tootie's words sank in.

Finally, she looked Tootie in the eye and said, "I'm sorry, Tootie. I know you're only trying to be a good friend. _You are _a good friend. I shouldn't have bitten your head off just now. It's just that…"

"It's just that what?"

"It's just that…this is a very complicated and scary situation. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm in over my head and I just don't know how to deal with all of this."

"Then talk to me. I might be able to help you."

"If Jo ever found out that I told you–"

"She won't. Like I said a few moments ago, I know that this isn't gossip. I won't say a thing about it to anyone. You have my word."

Over the next few minutes, Natalie explained everything that had been happening with Jo, and she told her Jo's diagnosis and described the surgical procedure Jo needed to have done like a true doctor's daughter.

"I can't believe it," said a very shocked Tootie. "I can't believe Jo actually needs heart surgery."

"I can't believe it, either. You never think that things like this are ever going to happen to you or to someone close to you. Now, it _is_ happening, and I don't have a clue what to do."

"I think somebody should know about this, like Mrs. Garrett or Mrs. Polniaczek."

"Tootie, I don't think that's an option. You know Jo swore me to secrecy, and if she found out I broke my promise to her, it would really upset her. You don't have to be a doctor's daughter to know that it is never a good idea to upset somebody with a heart condition. You and I can't ever talk about this…_to anyone._"

"Don't worry, Nat. You know I won't say a word about it to anyone. And besides, it's not my place to say anything. It's yours."

"What do you mean?"

"Jo confided in you about this, Natalie. She trusted you with this secret. And you're the one who has to do the right thing with it."

"What _is _the right thing?"

"Do you remember that time when some fluid got trapped in my ear and it became infected?"

"Of course I do."

"I wouldn't go to the doctor about it. I was terrified. I confided in you about the problems I was having with my hearing, and I begged you to keep it a secret. I trusted you, and you did the right thing, even though I couldn't see it at the time. You told Mrs. Garrett about it and basically forced me into going to the doctor. I was mad at you at first, but now, I couldn't be more grateful to you. If you hadn't had the guts to do the right thing and rat me out, I'd probably be deaf today. I know it's not easy, Natalie. I know you don't want to do anything to upset Jo or make her angry, but you've got to do for her what you did for me. Jo's too proud to admit it, but she can't handle this problem all on her own."

"But even if I did tell Mrs. Garrett or Mrs. Polniaczek about it, there's nothing either one of them could do. They don't have tens of thousands of dollars just lying around to pay for the surgery that Jo needs."

"Yeah, you've got a point," Tootie admitted. "It's so unfair. Why can't everybody have as much money as Blair?" she complained.

In that next moment, it hit them both at the same time as they looked at one another and cried out, "Blair!"

* * *

The following afternoon after classes were over, Natalie got Blair alone in the girls' room for a one-on-one conversation with her. While Blair sat down at a chair at their table, Natalie remained standing, her blue eyes locked with Blair's chestnut eyes. The wealthy young blonde knew immediately that something was up; she could sense it that Natalie really was in a no-nonsense mood.

"Blair, you and I have lived here together at Eastland for over three and a half years now. I'd say that in all that time, we've gotten to know each other pretty well."

"I agree. We have."

"You might even say that you and Jo and Tootie and Mrs. Garrett and I have become family to each other."

"I agree once again. We _are_ a family, Natalie. You're absolutely right."

Natalie then sighed, raked her fingers through her light brown hair, and said, "Blair, I'm just going to tell you exactly like it is. During these past few years we've been living together, I've come to realize that there are two different Blairs. There's the silly, spoiled Blair whose very existence seems to revolve around shopping sprees and boys, and then there's the mature Blair who's wise beyond her years because of all the time she had to spend being her parents' marriage counselor when she was just a little kid. The mature Blair who's wise beyond her years…_that _is the Blair I need to speak to right now."

That really got Blair's attention. She maintained eye contact with Natalie and told her truthfully, "I'm listening."

"Remember when we first came back to Eastland after the summer break and we found out that Jo's scholarship was being cut because of the economy? Back when it really looked like Jo would be leaving school?"

"Who could forget?"

"Jo was in trouble, and she really needed you to be there for her. And for a long time, she couldn't come to you and ask for your help because of _your _terrible attitude. It was _Jo _who had the problem. It was _Jo _who needed help. But instead of being there for her like a true friend, you twisted the situation and turned it around and made it all about _you_. You used it as an excuse to brag about yourself and your family's so-called 'generosity.' You made that awful crack about how your family saved a bunch of monkeys from starvation, so Jo wasn't alone. Jo really needed your help, _and you called her a monkey, Blair. _In what I guess was your stupid idea of a joke, you compared Jo to monkeys and in a nutshell, you told her that she was something less than human; an animal. If the tables had been turned and you were the scholarship student in need of money and Jo was the rich girl, would you _really _want to turn to her for help if she called you an animal and acted obnoxious about the whole thing and made you feel like you would owe her for the rest of your life?"

"No, I guess not," Blair quietly admitted. "Natalie, what's the point of all this?"

"Even though you are a good person, sometimes, you really can act like a jerk, even to the people you're closest to. You were there for Jo eventually. It took you a while, but in the end you finally did start behaving like a true friend. But it was _your horrible attitude _that made it practically impossible for Jo to turn to you for help for so long. You can't act that way again, Blair. You can't afford to act spoiled and immature and obnoxious now. Jo's in trouble again, and this time, there's a lot more at stake than a scholarship."

Blair rose to her feet in that moment and asked in a concerned voice, "What are you talking about?"

"My father ran some tests on Jo a few weeks ago. Nobody knew about it except me. I had to pry the truth out of Jo, and she made me promise not to say anything to anyone. Jo suffered from multiple cases of strep throat as a kid, which turned into rheumatic fever. And in turn, the rheumatic fever did damage to two of Jo's heart valves. One valve needs to be repaired, and another valve needs to be replaced altogether. And the operation could cost tens of thousands of dollars. Mrs. Polniaczek doesn't have insurance, so Jo is basically up a creek. Blair, if Jo doesn't get this operation, she could die."

Blair studied Natalie's face for a few moments, trying to discern if she was really being serious or if this was some crazy kind of joke. But it didn't take her long to see the worry in Natalie's eyes. "You're not kidding, are you?" she eventually asked.

"No. This is not a joke. I've never been more serious about anything in my life."

A few moments later, Blair said, "I'm going to Italy with my father for spring break next week. I'll talk to him about it. I'll take care of everything."

"Good. And this time, _keep your big mouth shut. _Don't say a word to Jo about this and _don't _turn this into an excuse to brag about yourself like you did with the Warner Foundation scholarship. Don't be stupid and try to paint Jo as some kind of charity case because you know if you do that, Jo will get angry and she'll probably refuse to let you take care of this. Don't try to twist this and make it all about you, _because this is not about you. _This is about _Jo. _This is about doing whatever's necessary to keep Jo alive, even if it means keeping this to yourself and passing up an opportunity to be praised by all the people around you."

Visibly hurt by Natalie's piercing words, Blair asked, "Natalie, do you really think I'm _that petty?_"

"You were _that petty _about the Warner Foundation scholarship, weren't you?"

For the next several moments, Blair was silenced by the harsh truth of Natalie's words. Finally, she quietly admitted, "Yeah, I…I guess I was."

Natalie could clearly see that she'd wounded Blair, and she told her, "Look, I'm sorry. I know I'm being pretty hard on you right now. I don't mean to hurt you, Blair, but Jo's life is on the line, here. We can't afford to mess around and play games. I had to be real with you and tell you the cold, hard truth about Jo…and about yourself."

Again, Blair remained silent for a few seconds, but she finally told Natalie, "I understand. You don't have to worry, Natalie. I realize how important this is. I won't do or say anything stupid. I won't say a word to Jo about any of this."

Natalie gave Blair an understanding nod, and then she left Blair alone in their room for a little while. In that time alone, Blair sat down and began taking a good look at herself, and she started asking herself some hard questions inside.

* * *

Later that evening, right after Mrs. Garrett and the girls were finished cleaning up after supper, Jo got a pleasant surprise. Her friend Jessie suddenly rode into the Eastland parking lot on her motorcycle, and when she came into the cafeteria in her typical leather jacket and jeans, Jo couldn't have been happier. Jo, Mrs. Garrett, and the girls were all sitting around together in the empty cafeteria when they heard Jessie's bike.

"I wonder who that could be," said Mrs. Garrett.

In that moment, Blair was just about to make a wise crack about how it had to be a friend of Jo's because only Jo's friends would ride around on something as 'pedestrian' as a motorcycle, but then she thought about Jo's condition and realized it would probably be a bad idea to poke fun at her right now. The last thing Blair wanted to do was upset Jo and make her heart problems worse.

It was then that Jessie strolled inside, and Jo instantly got up to greet her.

"Hey, Jess!" Jo said aloud as she gave her old pal a friendly slap on the back. "How ya doin'?"

"I'm good, thanks."

"What are you doing here?"

"The boss had a family emergency and he had to close up the garage for a few days, so I thought I'd hop on my bike and come see you for a day or two if that's alright."

"It's more than alright. I'm happy you're here," Jo told her sincerely.

"Thanks," Jessie responded, and then Jo realized that she hadn't introduced her to everybody yet.

"Oh, uh, Jessie, these are my friends. You've met Blair before in New York," said Jo, and Blair and the others got up from their seats then.

"Yeah. Hi," Jessie said as she shook hands with Blair, Blair giving her a friendly nod and smile.

"And this is Natalie, Tootie, and Mrs. Garrett."

Over the next few seconds, Jessie shook hands with all of them and said hello.

"We're very pleased to meet you, Jessie. We've heard a lot about you," Mrs. Garrett said pleasantly.

"Well I hope you'll let me spend a couple of days here with Jo anyway," Jessie joked, and Mrs. Garrett responded with a chuckle.

"Please, make yourself at home, dear," said Mrs. G.

"Thank you," said Jessie.

They spent the next half-hour chitchatting and making small talk, and then the girls and Mrs. Garrett left them alone in the lounge so they could hang out for a while. Jo let Jessie know that she'd sleep downstairs in the lounge while she was visiting and that Jessie could sleep in her bed in the girls' room upstairs. Then Jessie commented about how shocked she was to find out that "Eastland wasn't Spoiled Brat Central Station" and that the school "actually had girls like Natalie and Tootie who were normal," and Jo laughed for a moment and agreed. After talking for another couple of minutes, the two girls decided to call it a day and said goodnight for the evening.

* * *

At three-thirty that Friday afternoon, while Jo and the girls were upstairs in their room packing to go home for spring break, Jessie walked into the empty cafeteria…and began overhearing a conversation she clearly wasn't supposed to hear. Mrs. Garrett and her friend from Bates Academy, Professor Henry Clayton, were sitting together on the loveseat in the lounge talking…and the discussion soon became personal.

"I'm so glad you decided to come over for a little visit before we all leave tomorrow morning, Henry," Mrs. Garrett told him.

"I wanted to be sure I caught a few minutes with you before then," said the Professor in his classy British accent. "Edna, are you certain I can't talk you into visiting England with me during your vacation? We'd stay in separate bedrooms of my family home, of course. You know I'd never suggest anything improper." All the students and faculty at Bates Academy were also leaving in the morning for their spring break, and Professor Clayton was going back to England for a little visit.

"Oh Henry, it's a very tempting offer, but you know I'm going to Appleton next week to visit my sister, Beverly Ann. She and her husband Frank just separated a couple of weeks ago, and it's tearing her up inside. She's going through a lot, and she really needs me right now."

"I understand. I knew your answer would most likely be no, but you know I had to try."

Mrs. Garrett smiled then and said, "I'm very flattered that you did."

Professor Clayton smiled, and then he reached out, took her hand in his, and gave it an affectionate squeeze. In the next moment, Mrs. Garrett returned the smile, and then Professor Clayton admitted, "You know, Edna, I don't think I told you this enough while you were nursing me back to health after I injured my back, but you really are a special woman. You're always taking care of everybody. Me. Your sister. The girls. It's not everybody who can do what you do here every day."

"Well it's not as if my work here is any big sacrifice. I love my job here at Eastland, and I love my girls. I won't try to pretend that taking care of four teenage girls isn't challenging at times, but it's always worth it."

"I'm sure it is, but as I said, it's not everybody who could do it. I know for certain that I, for one, would never have the patience. My late wife was the same way. She was a brilliant, beautiful woman and I loved her very much, but she was a great deal like me. She too was quite the perfectionist, and although she was a caring person, she was never very patient or maternal. That's why we both agreed early on in our marriage that we'd never have children. We both knew we weren't cut out for it."

"You were certainly cut out to be a very fine teacher, though. I know you're doing a wonderful job over at Bates."

"It's nice to know somebody thinks so. I put forth a very great deal of effort in my job. It would be nice if my students noticed it and appreciated it as you do. In my day, we listened to our teachers. We paid attention to them. We paid them the respect they were due. But unfortunately, times have really changed, at least as far as Bates is concerned. Do you have problems in that area with your girls? Do they ever make you feel disrespected or taken for granted?"

"Most of the time, no. However, I will admit that there was one time when they really did make me feel as though I merely existed to do whatever they wanted or needed me to do; like I was just their nursemaid, nothing more. One time I was blindsided by a sudden financial crisis in my life, and I'd taken a second job as night manager at the Howard Johnson restaurant out on the highway. I was really going through a lot, trying to hold down two jobs on practically no sleep, and instead of giving me understanding and consideration, the girls just couldn't take their minds off themselves. Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore, and I really blew my stack at the girls."

"I can hardly blame you. Young people these days…they're so spoiled and disrespectful."

"Well, what happened with the girls was just one incident. Not _all _kids are like that _all _the time, Henry. My girls really are wonderful kids, and even though it's not always easy being responsible for four teenagers, I wouldn't have my life any other way."

"You're incredible, Edna. If I were in your shoes and I had to accept personal responsibility for four teenagers, I believe I'd run as far away as I could get."

Edna chuckled and told him, "Oh, it's not that bad, Henry. And life with the girls certainly isn't anything to run away from."

"You never run away from anything, anyway. You're the toughest person I know. You face everything head-on. It's one of the qualities about you that I admire the most."

She smiled and explained, "I have my father to thank for that. He's the one who always taught us that running away whenever life gets hard is never an option. From practically the moment we could crawl, he taught us that we had to face our problems and deal with them and not spend our whole lives running away the instant things started to get a little painful. No, I've always been a firm believer in facing your fears and your hurts in life.

"If only Jo could learn that lesson. I've had so much trouble with her about this over the years. Whenever there's a serious problem in Jo's life and she's really hurting, she never wants to stick around and work it out like I always have. No, whenever the going gets rough, Jo gets going, right out the door. I've always known that running away from your problems is no solution, but Jo just hasn't been able to fully grasp that yet. She's not quite as bad about it as she used to be, but still, it's something she's really going to have to work on."

"And there's some things _you _have to work on too, sweetheart," Jessie's angry, sarcastic voice suddenly interrupted, and Edna and Henry stood while Jessie put her hands on her hips. "You really think you know it all, don't ya?" she continued. "Well I got news for ya. When it comes to Jo, you don't know nothin'. You got the nerve to look down through your nose on Jo, thinkin' you're so much better than she is because you don't run from your problems and you think she does. You go on about how your father taught you to never run away from your problems. But you conveniently forget the fact that Jo never _had _a father. He may have been livin' with Jo and her mom the first twelve years of her life, but in reality, he left 'em a long time before that. He was never really there for her, teachin' her things like your father did you. I may not know you as well as Jo does, but I know that in her life, she has been through levels of pain that a self-righteous know-it-all like you can't even _begin _to imagine. You have no idea what it feels like to have a parent reject you and refuse to love you. You have _no idea _how bad something like that hurts. And on top of that, Jo had not just one but two of her friends commit suicide. And as if that wasn't bad enough, she just found out that _another _friend of hers is dyin'. If you had any empathy at all, you would understand that the human heart can only handle so much pain. There comes a point when a person just can't handle anymore agony in her life, and she's got no choice but to 'run away' in order to keep herself sane. But you wouldn't understand that, would ya? You're Miss Goody-Two-Shoes, who grew up knowin' nothin' but love and security from a good home, a good family, and a mother and a father who loved you. It's only _after _you've been through some of the stuff Jo and I have, it's only _after _you've played in the big leagues of pain like Jo and I have, that you can preach to people like us about anything. Until _you _experience gettin' rejected, hated, and abandoned by one of your own parents and growin' up in a war zone, lady, you can take that self-righteous, arrogant attitude of yours and you can shove it."

Jessie then stormed out of the lounge, leaving Edna and Henry just standing there, stunned.


	4. Dr JekyllMr Hyde

**A/N: **See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

**Chapter 4: Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde**

The following Wednesday, in the middle of everyone's spring break, the unthinkable happened. Jo, of course, was spending her spring break with Mrs. Polniaczek in the Bronx, and she hopped on her bike that stormy afternoon to pick up a couple of things for her at the market. On her way home, she lost control of her bike due to the slick roads and crashed.

Later on in the day, almost all of Jo's family and friends were gathered together in a hospital waiting room in New York City, anxiously waiting for Dr. Green and his surgical team to come out and tell them how Jo was. Rose and Charlie Polniaczek had gotten to the hospital very quickly after a police officer informed them of Jo's accident, along with one of Rose's sisters, Jo's Aunt Evelyn. It didn't take long for Jo's old friend Jessie to arrive, and soon after she got there, she was followed by Natalie, and by Natalie's mother Evie and her grandmother Mona. About an hour after they all met each other at the hospital, Tootie arrived with her mother, having flown in from Washington, D.C. Around forty-five minutes later, Edna arrived as well from Appleton, Wisconsin. Blair, who had been in Italy with her father when she was informed of Jo's accident, would not be arriving for several more hours.

By the time the rest of the group was assembled in the waiting room, Jo had been in surgery for around two hours. All of them were utterly stunned by this sudden, horrific turn of events, and more to the point, they were all terribly worried. An intern at the hospital had explained Jo's heart problems to her parents, and he'd informed them that the accident only exacerbated the issue, and that Dr. Green and his team were now back in the operating room working on Jo's heart.

At a quarter 'til four, Mr. and Mrs. Polniaczek went to the hospital cafeteria for a cup of coffee along with Mrs. Green, Mrs. Ramsey, and Rose's sister Evelyn. Soon after they left, Jessie went out for a walk, leaving Mrs. Garrett behind in the waiting room with Natalie, Tootie, and Mona.

"A motorcycle crash," Nat said in disbelief. "Who would've dreamed something like this could happen to Jo? She's such a great cyclist."

"An accident can happen to anyone, my dear," said Mona in her thick Russian accent.

"That's right, Natalie," Mrs. Garrett agreed. "Accidents happen all the time, even to the best drivers and cyclists. Especially on days like today when there's a lot of rain and the roads are slick."

"It's all so unfair," Natalie complained. "My dad ran tests on Jo and diagnosed her with rheumatic heart disease, and Jo told me all about her heart condition, and then I talked to Blair. Blair was going to speak to her dad about it during their vacation in Italy this week and see to it that all of Jo's medical bills were taken care of so she could get the surgery she needed. We were going to get this taken care of, Mrs. Garrett. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. Jo was supposed to have her surgery after spring break and get better."

"Yeah. What if the accident has made Jo's heart problem even worse? What if Dr. Green and his team aren't able to fix it?" asked Tootie.

"I know it's hard, girls, and I know you're scared. I'm scared, too," Mrs. Garrett told them honestly. "But even though this is a frightening situation – a deeply frightening situation – try not to think the worst. As hard as it is, now is the time for faith."

"Edna's right, girls," Mona agreed. "Do you all remember that night we got talking about my first boyfriend, my first love?"

"We remember, Grandma."

"I told you, Natalie, that my father didn't approve of him because he was from a different background. You know that while your parents and I have always been proud of our Jewish heritage, unlike most other Jews, our family has not rejected Jesus Christ as our Messiah. We know that Jesus is our Messiah, and we've always worshiped Him as our Lord. And my first love, Benjamin, is the reason for that. My parents were very strict Orthodox Jews, and they hated Christianity with a passion and they taught me to hate Christ. But then I met Benjamin, and I saw something in him that I'd never seen in any other human being before. There was an indescribable peace inside him. He had peace with the Almighty God _and he knew that_. He knew _exactly _where he was going when he died. And on top of that, he was the kindest, most loving boy I'd ever met. He constantly put others before himself, even his worst enemies. It was like he had heaven living in his heart. And I knew beyond a doubt that I wanted what he had. After getting to know him better, I learned that he had the kind of peace he had through Jesus Christ, because he'd trusted in Him to pay the debt for all his sins through His death on the cross. And I learned that what had seemed like heaven living in his heart was really the Holy Spirit living inside him. He had a relationship with the Lord that was unlike anything I'd ever seen before, and I knew it was only because of Jesus; after seeing the kind of joy and peace he had in his life, I knew for certain that Jesus Christ really is the way, the truth, and the life, and that no one comes to the Father but through Him.

"And when my parents, particularly my father, learned that I had come to believe in Jesus as the Messiah, it seemed as though my whole world collapsed around me. It was right after Benjamin was killed that I ended up telling my family that I believed in Christ. I was already in so much pain at the time, but my parents only made it worse. I was cut off from my family; in my father's eyes, from that point on, I was considered dead. He was absolutely furious with me for coming to faith in Jesus. So, I began working to make a new life for myself. I left the family farm and I got a job in another village and stayed with a friend there until I was able to save up enough money to come to America. A few weeks after I arrived in New York, I met Grandpa, and the rest, as they say, is history. I know things aren't looking well for Jo right now, love. I know how scared you are. I, too, was scared when Benjamin was killed and my father kicked me out of the family, but Jesus saw me through. And today, we have to turn to Him in faith and trust Him to do what's best for Jo and see her through."

"I don't know, Grandma. If Jesus is all-knowing and all-powerful, then why didn't He stop the accident from happening in the first place?"

"I've always wondered about things like that," Tootie chimed in. "Why _does _the Lord allow things like this to happen?"

Mrs. Garrett shook her head and responded, "We can't pin the blame for the fallen state of this world on the Lord, girls. In the beginning, God _did _create a perfect, sinless world. Adam made the decision to disobey God and bring sin into Christ's perfect creation, and ever since, there's been pain and suffering in the world. None of that is God's fault. But the Bible does promise us that for all those who love God and are called according to His purpose, which is to be conformed to the image of His Son, He _will _work _all _things together for good. Sometimes very painful and frightening things happen in this world, girls. But when they do, that's when we have to trust Jesus and lean not on our own understanding. It's in times like these when faith matters the most."

"I trusted God when I prayed for Cynthia," Natalie complained.

"Your friend who committed suicide?" questioned Mona.

"Yeah. After Tootie and I found Cynthia lying unconscious on the floor of her room, I was never more scared in my life. I prayed that day. I prayed so hard for God to let Cynthia live and He didn't. So why should I trust Him to help Jo now?"

"I know how you feel, darling," Mona assured her. "I felt the same way when I found out Benjamin had been killed. When Benjamin left to go fight in the war, I prayed that Jesus would keep him safe. When I lost him, there was a time when I really felt angry at God; like He'd betrayed me. But I see now how God was directing my footsteps all along. Had Benjamin lived and I'd stayed in the Ukraine and married him, I never would have come to America and met Grandpa. And if that hadn't happened, I would never have had your father, and you would never have come into my life. Girls, when we pray, we have to ask God to do His will, whatever that may be. And sometimes God's will is not ours. I don't know why God chose not to save Cynthia's life when you asked Him to, just like there was a time when I didn't understand why God chose to take Benjamin from me. We're not always going to understand why Jesus does things the way He does, but we _can _take comfort in the fact that even when we do trust the Lord and we don't get the outcome that we want, He knows what He's doing. No one can truly fathom the mind of the Almighty God, and that's okay. We don't always _need _to understand everything. God does. Jesus has been holding this world together and everything and everyone in it since the beginning, and He knows what's best."

"Amen," Mrs. Garrett concurred, and then silence filled the room as everyone got lost in their own thoughts.

* * *

About an hour later, Jo's parents and her Aunt Evelyn and Natalie's and Tootie's mothers had all returned to the waiting room from the cafeteria and Jessie had returned as well, and they were all sitting quietly together, _very_ anxiously waiting for some news when Dr. Green finally emerged from the O.R. The instant they saw him, they all rose to their feet.

"How is she, doc?" asked Charlie.

"Jo's sleeping now in the ICU. Given the severity of your daughter's underlying problems, she came through the surgery surprisingly well. As you know, due to her previous episodes of strep throat which developed into rheumatic fever, Jo has suffered heart damage, which was exacerbated by the accident. We had to go in and replace two of her heart valves. Jo also suffered a concussion and two broken ribs from the crash. Thankfully, she was wearing her helmet. Had she not had her helmet on, she could very easily be brain dead now."

"Will she be okay now?" asked Rose.

"Well she's really been through a lot today. Because of everything with her heart and the concussion, the next few days are going to be critical, and she'll be monitored closely in the ICU. Also, because I replaced her aortic and mitral heart valves with mechanical heart valves, Jo will need to take blood thinners for the rest of her life. With mechanical heart valves, there's a greater risk of blood clots forming. Jo will also need to start seeing a cardiologist regularly for check-ups from now on. But, she is a young, strong girl, and as long as she sees a cardiologist and takes her medication and takes care of herself, I do believe she'll be alright."

In that moment, everybody cheered and hugged and cried tears of relief.

* * *

Everyone came to visit Jo in the hospital a great deal over the next week as she recovered. She spent the next four days in the ICU, and then she was transferred to a private room – which was paid for courtesy of Blair. Mrs. Garrett and the girls also ended up spending some time with a number of Jo's relatives who came to the hospital as well. Of course they all got acquainted with Jo's Aunt Evelyn on the day of the accident, and then the next day they also met Rose's other sister, Jo's Aunt Debbie, who in fact looked almost nothing like Rose, Evelyn, or Jo. She was short and slim with long blonde hair and brown eyes, and she worked as an airline stewardess. (She'd been on a flight to London when Jo's motorcycle crash happened, which was why she hadn't been able to get to the hospital in New York sooner.)

During the first few days that Jo was hospitalized, everything remained perfectly normal and cordial between everyone. Jo did quite well physically as she took her first steps down the road to recovery, and Dr. Green and all her other doctors were pleased with her progress. And Rose, naturally, played her role of The Saintly, Self-Sacrificing Mother to perfection, and everybody – or _almost _everybody – was completely and utterly fooled by it. Including Mrs. Garrett. However, the day before Jo was set to be discharged from the hospital, something shocking occurred: Rose accidentally let her mask slip in front of others, and for the first time ever, Mrs. Garrett _finally _saw Rose Polniaczek for the soul-sucking monster that she really was.

That Sunday afternoon, Jo's last day in the ICU, Rose's visit with Jo started out nicely enough. Rose was all smiles and sweet and friendly. But in fact, it was merely the calm before the storm.

Jo was sitting up in bed reading a book when there was a knock on her door.

"Come in," she said, and in the next moment, Rose entered.

"Hi, sweetheart," she said with such a convincing smile, and Jo smiled in return.

"Hi Ma," she said as Rose kissed her cheek.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Pretty good. Thanks. How are you doin'?"

"I'm okay," Rose sighed, and then all of Jo's abdominal muscles tensed up. _She knew _that sigh. _She knew _what it meant. It meant that somehow, for some reason, Rose had a gripe about something that she was just _waiting_ to beat her over the head with.

"What is it, Ma? What's the matter?" Jo asked patiently. Meanwhile, Mrs. Garrett and Jo's Aunt Debbie, who had just bumped into each other out in the corridor, were walking to Jo's room together.

"It's just hard on me, that's all," she said softly, seeming much like a pouting child as she stared down at her feet.

As usual, Jo took the reins, stepped into the role of the adult, and began prodding the truth out of Rose as a parent would a child. "What's hard on you, Ma?" she asked.

"Everything," Rose said as Mrs. Garrett and Debbie got to Jo's room. However, when Debbie opened the door a crack, she and Mrs. Garrett could tell that they were having a private conversation, so they stood by outside and waited for a more opportune time to come in. "As you already know all too well, Jo," Rose continued, "I work long and hard every single day. I work at two jobs. I don't get to have many things for myself."

Rose's words visibly jabbed at Jo's heart, and Rose could clearly see in Jo's face how much her words wounded her. "I know you don't, Ma," Jo said sadly. "And it breaks my heart that just my bein' here makes life so hard for you."

"You should've told me, Jo," Rose complained. "You shouldn't have let me get blindsided like this. How do you think it made me feel when I found out you'd been keeping a secret like this? How do you think it makes a mother feel when she finds out her own daughter doesn't even trust her?"

"Ma, this has nothing to do with trusting you. Of course I trust you. I kept it from you because I know how hard life already is for you and I didn't want to add to your problems. I didn't want you to worry about me."

"You didn't want to add to my problems," Rose said with disgust. "At least if you'd told me what was going on, I could have begun to make plans to pay for the operation on my own. Now, Blair's parents are paying for everything and everybody knows it, and they all look at me like I'm some poor, pathetic charity case. You're always doing things like this to me, Jo. You're _always_ doing things to make me look bad. When your father left us, instead of doing anything to help me out, you became a worthless bully and started hanging out with that hoodlum street gang. Then you practically eloped with that sorry little punk, Eddie. Then a few weeks ago you started skipping classes again, and now this. What is it with you, Jo? You just _live _to make my life harder, don't you?"

"I can't believe what I'm hearing," Edna gasped.

"Believe it," Debbie said with an angry sigh. "I know you're not supposed to say anything bad about your family, but it's just a cold hard fact that my little sister is the most two-faced person on the planet. Rose has always had this Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde thing going on with her. Whenever she's in front of churchgoers in the sanctuary or in front of the neighbors, she's a perfect angel. She's a hardworking waitress, a good neighbor, a good friend, and of course, The Ever-Saintly, Self-Sacrificing Mother. Whenever she's behind closed doors and it's just her and Jo, the mask comes off and she becomes a life-sucking demon."

"This is…absolutely shocking," said Edna in utter disbelief. "As a mother myself, I…I can't imagine treating my own child this way, especially at a time like this when she's in the ICU recovering from heart surgery."

"I know," Debbie said with an understanding nod. "You're right. Most parents can't imagine it. Almost nobody can really imagine what it's like living with a narcissist. That's why Rose has always been so successful at pulling the wool over everyone's eyes. That's why everybody believes she's such a saint, because most people can't imagine what living with her emotional abuse can be like. They buy into her little saintly angel act so easily. But the truth is, my sister is no saintly, innocent angel. It hurts to say this about my own sister, but Rose has been a bully all her life. Maybe not a physical bully, but an emotional one. I've watched her bully and manipulate all the people around her ever since she was a small child. I suppose it was because she was the youngest that our folks spoiled her so much. Even our sister Evelyn, the oldest of us, spoiled her and let her get away with bloody murder when we were kids. No matter what little Rosie did, little Rosie was never wrong," Debbie said with biting sarcasm.

"Has she always treated Jo so…_viciously_?" Mrs. Garrett asked incredulously.

"Always," Debbie confirmed. "Rose has never physically laid a hand on my niece, but inside, she's been tearing her apart for years. You know, Jo never really gets enough credit or enough respect in my opinion. Everybody just takes one look at her and wants to write her off as some loudmouth hoodlum Bronx barbarian. But there really is so much more to Jo than meets the eye. Almost no one in her life ever _really _understands the kind of burdens she's had to carry in her eighteen short years. In many ways, she's been abandoned from day one by _both _of her parents, not just her father. She's never _really _experienced unconditional love. All these years, Rose has made Jo feel guilty for merely existing. And I can only imagine the burdens of guilt she's laid on Jo's shoulders ever since she's had to start working two jobs to send her to Eastland. I think deep down in her heart, Jo really does feel that it would have been better for her mother had she never been born. Jo feels responsible for her mother and her whole neighborhood; sometimes it seems like that poor kid really does have the whole world sitting on her shoulders. But she stays strong and she keeps on going every day, no matter how much pain she's feeling inside. She keeps working to make something out of her life, to make her mother proud, even though her mother's always treated her with such contempt. She's a beautiful, sensitive, and powerful soul, and she's a better person than my sister could ever hope to be."

It was then that Mrs. Garrett and Debbie heard raised voices, and they walked into Jo's room.

"It's the same old thing I'm always hearin' from you, Ma! I get so tired of hearin' about how hard I make your life all the time and what a burden I am! If you didn't want me to be here, you shouldda swallowed a birth control pill before you hopped into bed with Pop eighteen years ago!" Jo cried out.

Mrs. Garrett instantly walked up to Jo's bedside, put a loving hand on her shoulder, and softly said, "Easy, Jo. Easy. Calm down, sweetheart. Calm down."

"How am I supposed to calm down with her breathin' down my neck all the time with all her criticism?! It _never _stops! _Never_! And I can't handle it anymore!"

It was in that instant that Jo began gasping for breath, and when that started to happen, Mrs. Garrett walked up to Mrs. Polniaczek and told her in a firm, deep voice, "You need to go. **Now_._**"

"I'm her mother!" she childishly insisted.

"Some mother! What kind of 'mother' does _this _to her child after she's just been through heart surgery?!" Mrs. Garrett yelled. "You're hurting one of my girls and I will not stand for that! Get out of here right now or I'll pick you up and throw you out myself!"

"Don't bother, Mrs. Garrett. _I'll_ throw her out. Come on, Rose," said Debbie as she yanked her sister by the arm and pulled her out of Jo's tiny ICU room.

"Easy, Jo," Mrs. Garrett whispered a moment later. "Easy. Just breathe, honey. Just relax. It's alright. Everything is alright."

Jo began to catch her breath again, and when Mrs. Garrett saw that she was breathing easier, she looked down at her with a tender smile, took her hand, and gave it a loving squeeze. She then buzzed for the nurse to come in and check on her, just to be sure she was alright now. A nurse appeared with Dr. Green a couple of minutes later and they examined her. The episode with Rose had certainly raised Jo's blood pressure, but thanks to Mrs. Garrett's intervention, she'd calmed down and it wasn't long before her vital signs were back to normal. After Dr. Green and the nurse left the room, Mrs. Garrett spent a little time with her, but then she could clearly see that she was getting tired so she left and let Jo get some sleep.

* * *

Several days later, Jo was allowed to be discharged from the hospital. Thankfully, Mrs. Garrett stepped in and let Rose Polniaczek know in no uncertain terms that Jo _would _be going back to her Eastland home and family to recuperate. As soon as Rose saw the blue pools of fire that Mrs. Garrett's eyes had become when she confronted her, she knew better than to try and argue. When Dr. Green discharged Jo to Mrs. Garrett's care, he informed her that Jo would really have to take it easy for the next eight weeks as she recovered, and she took his words to heart. As soon as she brought Jo home from the hospital, she made sure to keep a very close eye on her, and unlike Rose, she gave her plenty of TLC.

It was about three o'clock in the afternoon on the day that Mrs. Garrett brought Jo home from the hospital that she knocked on the door of the girls' bedroom, wanting to check on Jo. Jo had been home for a couple of hours now, and she'd just woken up from a little nap and she was sitting up in her bed reading when Mrs. Garrett knocked.

"Come in," she called.

"Hi, sweetheart," Mrs. Garrett said kindly as she walked up to Jo's bed. After sitting down on the side of the bed, she tenderly brushed a few loose strands of hair behind Jo's ear and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Okay. Tired. Sore. But okay. And very happy to finally get my bike repaired."

Mrs. Garrett chuckled and said, "I hear you." She then asked while pointing to her chest, "How are you feeling in here?"

"I don't know," Jo said quietly. She had years of pain in her heart that she'd kept suppressed, and she didn't really know how to begin expressing it all now. "It's hard to talk about. It's all so complicated."

Mrs. Garrett gave her an understanding nod and said, "I know it is, honey. I know. Mrs. Polniaczek has really put you through a lot, hasn't she?"

"My mom loves me, Mrs. Garrett. It's just that things are so hard for her. Things have _always _been really hard for my mom. She's never had the kind of opportunities that I have. She's never been able to go to college and have a good job. She's always been stuck at that dumb cocktail waitress job she hates. And when I was born, I only made things worse. Because of me, all the money she makes has to towards _my _education instead of hers. She never gets to have anything for herself."

"That's no excuse for the terrible way she treats you, Jo. Up until a few days ago, I believed that Mrs. Polniaczek really was a kind, giving, hardworking person, and I thought very highly of her. But when I overheard the way she was talking to you the other day and I got to talking with your Aunt Debbie about it, I realized the truth. And the truth is, Jo, you've been not just physically abandoned by Mr. Polniaczek; you've also been emotionally abandoned by Mrs. Polniaczek. Mrs. Polniaczek has been emotionally abusing you your whole life. Just because she hasn't physically laid a hand on you doesn't mean that she hasn't been abusing you. She's been abusing you through her cruel words and her conscious decision to deprive you of love, and in many ways, that's even worse than physical abuse. Bruises heal over time, but cruel words, particularly cruel words from your own mother, can live on in your mind and continue to hurt you for _years _after they've been said. I know you want to believe that Mrs. Polniaczek loves you, and I know the truth is hard to accept, but the truth is, the way she treats you is _not _love. Verbal and emotional abuse, _any _kind of abuse, is the exact opposite of true love, Jo. Love doesn't resent putting your loved one's needs before your own, especially the needs of your child. Love doesn't look for excuses to continually criticize you and tear you down. Love doesn't strap the Rock of Gibraltar to your shoulders and force you to carry it every single day. Love puts others first, and it builds people up and helps heal their wounds and ease their burdens."

"Ma's the one with the burdens, Mrs. G."

Mrs. Garrett shook her head then and said, "I disagree. I think _you're _the one who's been carrying very great, painful, horrendous burdens throughout your life. I know Mrs. Polniaczek has constantly made you feel like her life would be better if you'd never been born, but I want you to know, Jo, that that is a lie from the pit of hell. You are _not _a burden, Jo. You're a _gift. _You're a very great gift from God Almighty, Himself. A gift that Mrs. Polniaczek doesn't deserve and never will. You're a good kid, Jo. You're a _wonderful _daughter, and the terrible way your mother has treated you all these years is not your fault. You've done nothing to deserve her constant verbal and emotional abuse."

With tears streaming down her face, Jo said, "You're wrong, Mrs. G. I do deserve it. I put Ma through so much, especially when I joined the Young Diablos and started hangin' out with them all the time and gettin' into trouble. It was because of my bad choices that she had to send me away to Eastland and take a second job so she could pay for me to go to this fancy school. Ma tells me sometimes that I'm a bully, and she's right. I try to be a good person, but I know I have a lot of faults. I can be pretty hard to deal with sometimes."

"She's one to talk about bullying. Only a bully would abuse her own child and spend years breaking her spirit. It's true that you've made some mistakes, just like every human being on this earth does. But your mistakes never gave Mrs. Polniaczek the right to put you through all of this. And just because she works hard to put you through Eastland, it doesn't give her the right to constantly cut you down and cause you such great pain. And as for her life being hard, well, that's just tough. _Being a parent _**is**_ hard._ It's the hardest job out there, but it's a job Mr. and Mrs. Polniaczek willingly signed up for when they chose to have unprotected sex. If she didn't want the hard responsibilities that go along with being a parent, she should've gone on the pill or not had sex. That's just a cold, hard fact."

"I guess you're right," Jo said quietly while wiping her eyes with a tissue. "You know, Mrs. G., you've really given me a lot to think about."

Mrs. Garrett patted Jo's hand and said, "Good. Do some thinking. Really think about what I said."

Jo nodded and said, "I will. Thank you, Mrs. Garrett."

"There's no need to thank me, honey," Mrs. Garrett whispered while hugging Jo. "I was just telling you the truth, that's all." When the embrace ended a moment later, she said, "I don't think I tell you this often enough, but I want you to know how much I love you. And I do, Jo. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Mrs. G.," Jo said with a smile.

Mrs. Garrett then leaned in and kissed Jo on the forehead, and then she left and Jo really began doing some hard thinking about everything she'd just told her.


	5. Lightning Strikes

**A/N: **See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

**Chapter 5: Lightning Strikes**

Over the next eight weeks, Mrs. Garrett diligently cared for Jo as she recovered from her surgery. Jo kept up with her studies and even though she was stuck in bed for a good while, she stayed up-to-date with all her classes. Mrs. Garrett constantly let Jo know how proud she was of her for doing so well with her classwork despite everything she was going through physically. She was also a huge source of support for her as she slowly began coming out of the mental fog caused by all the years of Mrs. Polniaczek's emotional abuse. While Jo recovered, she and Mrs. Garrett became closer than they'd ever been before.

Finally, in late May, Jo was able to return to class and to her duties in the kitchen and cafeteria. Unfortunately, her long absence cost Jo her weekend job at the local garage, but seeing as how the school year was nearly over, Jo knew she'd have plenty of time to find another part-time job before the fall semester began at Langley College. During the last week in May, as Jo readjusted to her former routine, things seemed to be back to normal for everyone once again. Mrs. Garrett was really there for Jo as she began working through all the pain Mrs. Polniaczek had caused her, and the girls soon forgot all the anxiety they'd experienced when Jo had been in the hospital. After Jo had been back in class a few days, it seemed everything she'd been through with her heart surgery was a distant memory. But on the first of June, that distant memory reared its ugly head.

There had a been a nasty stomach bug going around campus the past couple of days, and when Mrs. G. and the girls woke up that morning and discovered Jo kneeling in front of the toilet vomiting, naturally, they all assumed that she'd caught it. So far, Mrs. Garrett, Blair, Natalie, and Tootie had been spared from the virus, but several teachers and a number of other students had gotten sick recently. When they found Jo in front of the toilet, they were sure it had hit her too, and while the girls continued going about their business getting ready for class, Mrs. Garrett sat down behind Jo and held a wet washcloth to her forehead for about ten minutes until she started feeling a little better.

When the vomiting finally stopped and they both stood up, Mrs. Garrett said gently, "Jo, I want you to go lie down now."

Jo shook her head and responded, "I can't, Mrs. G. I gotta get ready for class. Today's a big day today. We're havin' that big debate with those nerds from Bates in Mr. Johnson's class in fourth period."

"Yes, I know. You've been talking all week about how much you were looking forward to 'cutting those Bates twerps off at the knees' as you so delicately put it," Mrs. Garrett teased. "But given everything your body has been through over the past couple of months, we're not going to take any chances. You're staying in bed today."

"Mrs. G., those stupid jerks have been drivin' us crazy these past couple of weeks. They're so smug. They're always in our faces, goin' on about how we'll lose because we're women and we're too emotional to think logically. I can't miss today's debate and let the team down. They'll never let us hear the end of it. Come on, Mrs. Garrett. Eastland's honor is on the line."

"Well…alright," Mrs. Garrett said dubiously. "You can stay in class until the big debate is over, but after that, I want you right back in bed."

"Thanks, Mrs. G.," Jo said with a weak smile, and then Mrs. Garrett left the bathroom and Jo started getting ready for class.

* * *

At nine o'clock that morning, Jo, Blair, and Natalie were all sitting at their desks in English class, discussing the latest novel they were reading through. The teacher, Miss Barnett, asked numerous questions about the last chapter she'd assigned to them to read. As would be expected, Natalie answered quite a few, and Blair gave a couple of good answers as well, while Jo remained uncharacteristically silent. About twenty minutes into class, Jo suddenly began feeling so cold that she started to shiver, even though it was a warm June morning. Natalie soon noticed that Jo was visibly shaking.

It was then that she leaned over and whispered in Jo's ear, "Are you alright?"

Jo, who typically had the long sleeves of her Eastland uniform rolled up, pulled her sleeves down to try to provide a little extra warmth for herself. In the next moment, she put on a brave face and whispered to Nat, "I'm fine."

Class went on as usual for the next ten minutes as Miss Barnett continued to dissect the novel. But then right when she was in the middle of a sentence, Jo just got up from her seat out of the blue. Her face turned an alarming shade of gray, and Miss Barnett could easily see that something was wrong.

"What's the matter, Jo?" she asked while kindly touching her shoulder.

"I can't breathe," she gasped, and in that instant, she started to collapse. As soon as Miss Barnett saw what was happening, she reached out and supported Jo and eased her down to the floor so she wouldn't hurt herself. Meanwhile, Blair, Natalie, and several other alarmed friends and classmates called Jo's name out of fear.

"She's passed out," said Miss Barnett, who was kneeling down on the floor beside Jo. She then looked at Blair and told her, "Blair, go get the nurse. **Now.**"

Miss Barnett's words to Blair instantly brought her back to that horrific day that Cynthia committed suicide. Memories suddenly flooded her mind of Natalie rushing to get the nurse, Jo taking Tootie to get the headmaster, and Mrs. Garrett ordering her to call an ambulance.

"Yes, ma'am," Blair responded, and then she darted out of the classroom.

Natalie then knelt down on the other side of Jo and observed her closely, and she came to a terrifying realization. In the next moment, she looked at the teacher and said, "Miss Barnett, I'm scared. I don't think she's breathing."

"Dear Lord," Miss Barnett gasped.

"Miss Barnett, what do we do?" a student cried out.

"I don't…I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know First Aid or CPR. I don't know what to do."

"I do," said Natalie. "My dad's a doctor and my mom's a nurse and they both taught me how to do CPR months ago."

Natalie then shook Jo by the shoulders and loudly called her name several times, trying to get her to wake up, but there was no response from Jo. In the following moments, she closely checked to see if she was breathing and if there was a pulse.

"Oh God, there's no pulse," Natalie gasped as tears flooded her eyes. Many other students began crying in that instant as well.

A couple of seconds later, Natalie tilted Jo's head back, pinched her nostrils, and gave her two breaths. She checked again for breathing and a pulse, and when she saw that there still wasn't any breathing or heartbeat, she began doing a series of chest compressions, while all the other girls and even the teacher stood in the background choking back sobs.

This continued for about the next ten minutes, until Blair finally came back to the classroom with Mr. Parker.

"The school nurse isn't in today," Blair explained. "She called in sick this morning because of the stomach virus that's been going around."

"You have _got _to be kidding," said Miss Barnett with obvious disgust and disdain.

"I've called an ambulance. The paramedics should be here soon," Mr. Parker announced.

"What's going on? What's happening?" asked Blair.

"Oh, nothing, Blair. I'm just doing chest compressions on Jo to pass the time," Nat sarcastically replied. "_What does it look like? _Jo's not breathing, and she doesn't have a heartbeat. I'm doing CPR."

"Dear God," Mr. Parker gasped.

It was in that moment that Blair recalled a vital detail from Mrs. Garrett's sex education class she'd taken years ago.

"Mrs. Garrett can help," said Blair. "She's a registered nurse."

"Well for heaven's sake, go get her!" Miss Barnett snapped.

"I'll go get her," said Mr. Parker, and then he shot out of the classroom like a bullet from a gun.

* * *

A couple of minutes later, Mr. Parker returned with Mrs. Garrett, and the instant she arrived, she knelt down on the floor beside Natalie.

Natalie then turned to Mrs. Garrett with tears streaming down her face and told her, "I've been trying forever to get her back, Mrs. Garrett, but I can't. I've been doing CPR but no matter how hard I try, I can't get her to breathe. There's no breath. There's no pulse. There's nothing."

"You've been doing great, Natalie," Mrs. Garrett assured her. "Move aside now. Let me try."

Natalie nodded and then she got up and got out of the way, and Mrs. Garrett took over. For the next few minutes, everyone stood by in shocked silence as Mrs. Garrett performed CPR on Jo.

Finally, when Mrs. Garrett was in the middle of doing a series of chest compressions, Blair noticed Jo's head begin to move.

"She's coming around, Mrs. Garrett!" Blair cried out.

"Blair's right! She's moving!" Nat said aloud.

"Jo!" Mrs. G. cried out with tears freely flowing from her eyes. She then cradled Jo in her arms and helped her to sit up.

"Wha-what happened?"

"You passed out, sweetheart," Mrs. Garrett told Jo while she rested her head on her chest. In that moment, Mrs. G. shot all the other students a warning glance, letting them all know that they were not to say anything about Jo's heart stopping. The last thing Jo needed now was to have her anxiety level increased by hearing the whole truth.

"I don't feel good, Mrs. G.," Jo whispered.

More tears filled Mrs. Garrett's eyes in that moment as she kissed the top of her head. She then said, "I know you don't feel well right now, honey. Don't worry. Everything is going to be alright. We'll be getting you to the hospital very soon. We're going to take care of you. Just relax. Just take it easy right now."

"Okay," Jo whispered, and she rested her eyes while Mrs. Garrett continued holding her close.

* * *

Two hours later, Mrs. Garrett, Blair, Natalie, Tootie, Mrs. Polniaczek, and Mr. Parker were all gathered in the same hospital waiting room they'd met in weeks before when Jo had her accident, and they were _very _anxiously waiting for news. When Dr. Green finally came out to speak with them at five past noon, they could all easily tell by the great sadness in his eyes that things did _not _look good for Jo. Everyone rose from their seats in that moment, and Mrs. G. and the girls truly began to feel nauseous as they listened closely to hear what Dr. Green had to say.

"I'm sorry, everyone," he said quietly. "I have some bad news."

"What is it, Dr. Green?" asked Mrs. Polniaczek.

"You all know I've prescribed blood-thinners for Jo because with mechanical heart valves, there's an increased chance of blood clots forming."

"Yes," said Mrs. G.

"Unfortunately, even with the blood-thinners, blood clots can still happen. I've run a number of tests on Jo, and it appears that several blood clots have formed, and those blood clots cut off the blood supply to Jo's heart for a period of time…resulting in a massive heart attack."

Everyone gasped in horror, unable to believe their ears.

"Dr. Green…is Jo going to be okay?" Tootie hesitantly asked, truly frightened of the answer.

After several long moments of agonizing silence, Dr. Green answered at last, "The heart attack did a great deal of damage to Jo's heart. In my professional medical opinion, I don't believe Jo will live much longer."

"You're not serious," Mrs. Polniaczek gasped while Natalie and Tootie began to cry softly in the background.

"I'm afraid I'm as serious as I can be," Dr. Green replied in a low, solemn voice.

"Dad, isn't there anything you can do?" Nat asked through her tears.

"I wish there were, Cookie. I really do."

"What do we do now?" Mrs. Polniaczek asked in a barely audible whisper.

"She won't be able to leave the hospital. She's far too ill," Dr. Green told Mrs. Polniaczek.

"So you're saying that for however much time Jo has left, she'll never be able to leave the hospital?" asked Blair.

"No," Dr. Green answered honestly, and in that moment, even more tears came to everyone's eyes. "We're basically looking at a matter of weeks. Possibly even less."

Blair, Natalie, and Tootie just clung to one another and cried then, and Mrs. Garrett doubled over and slowly sank down into a nearby chair, much as if she'd been kicked in the gut. Dr. Green had to leave a couple of minutes later to attend to his next patient, and soon after he left the waiting room, a clearly shocked Mr. Parker said goodbye to everyone and returned to Eastland. Almost immediately after he walked out of the hospital, Mrs. Polniaczek left as well, very much so in a daze. Meanwhile, the girls just continued holding onto each other and crying, unashamed of their tears, and Mrs. Garrett remained in her seat, as silent and still as a statue. Lightning had appeared out of nowhere that day and struck all their hearts, and they knew beyond a doubt that from that moment on, nothing would ever be the same.


	6. You Cannot be an Ostrich

**A/N: **See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

**Chapter 6: You Cannot be an Ostrich**

Over the next twenty-four hours, Blair, Natalie, and Tootie seemed to just get through one moment to the next living on auto-pilot. Their actions were almost mechanical in nature as they went through the motions of doing kitchen and cafeteria duty with Mrs. Garrett. As soon as they were done helping out with lunch, they all decided to ditch their afternoon classes and go to the hospital to be with Jo. When they arrived, Dr. Green decided to bend the rules and allow all three of them to visit Jo in the ICU for a while. However, Jo had been practically unconscious ever since she'd been brought to the hospital the day before and when the girls went in to see her, she was still in a very deep sleep. Obviously, it was very painful for the girls when they walked into Jo's tiny ICU room and saw her lying on a hospital bed, lifeless, hooked up to oxygen, an IV, and a heart monitor. But even though it hurt, they were strong, and they held her hand and stayed by her side until Dr. Green finally came along that night and made them go back home, with the exception of Natalie, of course. Naturally, he asked his daughter if she'd rather come home than return to Eastland with the girls, but she insisted she wanted to be with her friends now, so he allowed her to go back to school with them.

Surprisingly, when the girls did return to Eastland at about eleven o'clock that night, they found Mrs. Garrett in the kitchen, down on her hands and knees with her head stuck in the oven, cleaning it.

"Mrs. Garrett, what are you doing?" asked Tootie.

Mrs. Garrett then came out of the oven, stood up, and responded, "What does it look like I'm doing, Tootie? I'm cleaning the oven."

They glanced at each other for a couple of seconds in pure disbelief, and then Blair said, "Jo's heart stopped yesterday and Dr. Green told us she has weeks to live, maybe only _days_…and you're worried about the _oven_?"

Mrs. Garrett was wearing a white apron over her mint-green blouse and long khaki skirt and long yellow rubber gloves, and her signature red hair, which was typically styled in a perfectly neat bun, was now a total mess. It was obvious she'd been working on cleaning the kitchen and cafeteria for hours.

"Look," she said in a firm, deep voice instead of her usual quivering one, "you girls can just cut classes and take off and neglect your duties whenever you feel like it without any major consequences. You're teenagers. I'm an adult. And adults have _jobs. _I can't afford to just walk out on my work whenever I feel like it. If I do, I get fired."

"But Mr. Parker said yesterday that if you wanted to, you could turn everything over to Nancy, Cindy, Sue Ann, and Molly while we spent time with Jo in the hospital. Don't you remember? They volunteered to take over our kitchen duty for us until the end of the school year, since it's only a couple of weeks away," Natalie pointed out.

"Yeah, Mrs. Garrett. There's no need for you to be here at all. You could have gone with us to the hospital and spent time with Jo," said Tootie.

Saying nothing, Mrs. Garrett simply grabbed a clean rag, wetted it, and began furiously washing the kitchen countertops. It was then that Blair started to see what was going on.

"You don't have any intention of going to the hospital to be with Jo, do you?" Blair asked her point-blank.

Mrs. Garrett remained silent for a good while, but finally, she told them in the same deep tone, "Girls…I know this isn't easy for you. This isn't easy for any of us. But you're just going to have to let me deal with this in my own way."

"What way is that? Avoiding Jo? Sticking your head in the sand?" asked Natalie.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, girls," said Mrs. Garrett as she furiously scrubbed the counter.

"Mrs. Garrett, you're not making any sense," Blair complained. "This isn't like you at all. You're always the one preaching at us about how we have to face our problems and not run away from them. I know it hurts, Mrs. Garrett, but you can't just stay stuck here in the kitchen scrubbing the countertop while Jo dies."

"Blair's right, Mrs. Garrett," said Tootie. "You can't just keep avoiding Jo."

"Girls, I don't need to be lectured by any of you about anything. Just get out of here and leave me alone," Mrs. Garrett snapped.

"Go upstairs, you two," Blair whispered to Natalie and Tootie. "I'll be up in a minute."

Natalie and Tootie nodded and then they went upstairs. Once they were gone, Blair told Mrs. Garrett, "You know…you're someone I've loved and admired and respected for years. Ever since I've known you, you've been my example. My role model. And I think I speak for the girls as well when I say that. You've preached a lot of lectures at us over the years, but we always listened to you because _you _always _practiced _what you preached. You've been an example to us from day one. And in a time like this, we need that example from you more than ever. We need _you _more than ever. You can't just turn your back on everything you've taught us, Mrs. Garrett. You can't abandon Jo. You can't abandon _us_," Blair said, almost _pleading _with Mrs. Garrett, as tears filled her eyes.

"Blair, please," Mrs. Garrett gasped, and it was then painfully obvious just how close she was to breaking down into sobs herself. She then locked her blue eyes with Blair's chestnut eyes and said in a deep, emotional voice, "You know I love you girls. You know I love Jo. But I cannot do this. I cannot have this conversation with you. Not now. Not tonight. Let me be, Blair. Go to bed. Please."

At an utter loss for words, Blair simply did as Mrs. Garrett asked and went upstairs. Choking back a sob, Mrs. Garrett went right back to cleaning the kitchen, trying desperately hard to push all thoughts of what was happening to Jo out of her mind.

* * *

Two days later, Mrs. Garrett had her head stuck in the oven once again. This time, though, she wasn't cleaning; she was baking. Jo always loved Mrs. Garrett's apple pie, and while Mrs. Garrett was right in the middle of baking one for her, she suddenly heard a knock at the back door. She had the oven door open and was checking on the pie when she heard the knock, and when she did, she reluctantly pulled her head out of the oven, stood up, and turned around. As soon as she saw who was at the door, she smiled.

"Good afternoon, Mona," Mrs. Garrett said pleasantly as she let Natalie's grandmother into the kitchen.

"Good afternoon, my dear," Mona responded, smiling in return.

"It's so good to see you."

"It's good to see you, too. How are you doing?"

"I've had better days. How about you? How are you?"

"I've had better days, too. I know that what's happening to Jo is really taking a hard toll on Natalie. I know it must be difficult for you as well."

"I'd really rather not talk about that right now if you don't mind, Mona."

"I know, Edna. I know," Mona said sympathetically. "But sometimes, what we _want _and what we _need _are two entirely different things. And I think that now is one of those times. You may not _want _to talk about this, but I think you _need _to."

"Natalie put you up to this, didn't she?"

"She's deeply concerned about you, Edna. And frankly, so am I. You've always been very good to my granddaughter. You've always been there for her. You've meant a great deal to Natalie's parents and me for years and to us, you're a member of the family. We all care very much about you."

Edna patted Mona's upper arms and told her truthfully, "I appreciate that, Mona."

After a pause, Mona told Edna, "It's like I said. You've always been there for Natalie, right from day one. I'd like very much to return the favor now. I know that this is extremely painful, but even though you don't want to talk about what you're feeling, I really think you need to."

Edna let out a small chuckle then, shaking her head and laughing at herself in utter disbelief, and in the next moment, she said, "You know, that sounds just like something I would say to one of the girls. Ah, Mona, how many times through the years have I told the girls, 'You have to talk about your feelings; you can't just keep everything all bottled up'? Now, I…I can't even begin to _think _about this, much less talk about it."

"I know. I know it hurts, Edna. But the longer you avoid it, the more painful it's going to become. You cannot be an ostrich and go on sticking your head in the sand forever. Even though it hurts – _deeply _hurts – you have got to start facing it."

Edna then let out a big sigh of frustration as tears began silently streaming down her face. Several moments later, she looked at Mona and asked her in a low, quiet voice, "You know what I keep thinking about?"

"What?"

"I keep remembering what happened shortly before we all left for spring break a couple of months ago. Jo's friend Jessie from the Bronx came here for a visit, and she accidentally overheard a conversation between Professor Clayton and me. We got to talking about his students and the girls, and I got to talking about Jo." Edna bitterly laughed at herself in that moment, and then she admitted, "I sure got on my high horse that day. I went on and on about what a firm believer I've always been in facing my fears and my hurts in my life and how Jo needed to learn how to face her troubles like I've always done. Jessie came into the room right after I said my stupid little piece about Jo, and she really cut me down to size. She told me I was a self-righteous know-it-all and that I didn't have any right to preach to other people about not running away from things until I'd been through the levels of pain that she and Jo had experienced in their lives. Well, my ego certainly took a bruising that day. I thought to myself, 'This girl isn't even half my age. Who is _she_ to lecture me about anything?' But now, I'm beginning to see it, Mona. I'm beginning to see that Jessie was right. For years now, I've preached lectures at the girls about how you shouldn't run away from your problems. I never realized it, but all along, there's been this tiny part of my heart that I didn't even know was there saying, 'I'm so much better than Jo because I don't run away from my problems like she does.' I had no idea that that little piece of my heart even existed, but now, I know that it does, and I am so ashamed of myself. Jessie wasn't only right about me being a self-righteous know-it-all; she was right when she said that I'd never played in the big leagues of pain like she and Jo had. I always preached my lectures at the girls. I always played my little part of Ms.-Know-It-All. But I never once thought of the other side of it. I never once _really _thought about the hellish levels of pain Jo has already endured in her young life; not the way I should have.

"Jessie told me that day that I had known nothing but love and security from my own parents and that I had no clue what it was like to get rejected by a parent. And she was right, Mona. She was absolutely right. Until I saw it for myself a few weeks ago, I honestly had no clue how deep Jo's pain actually ran. I should have seen it. I should have seen it long before now, but I didn't. Perhaps I chose not to see it because thinking about a child actually being rejected by her own parents was something I couldn't bear to think about. But Jo really has been rejected by not just one but _both _of her parents, and instead of being a source of comfort to her like I _should_ have been over the years, I only made it worse. I see that now. I laid guilt trips on her about all the hard work Mrs. Polniaczek did to send her to Eastland, and when Mr. Polniaczek first came to Eastland to visit her, I actually sympathized with _him _instead of Jo. And of course, I never missed an opportunity to preach lectures at her about not running away from things."

"It's _good _that you encouraged Jo not to run away from her problems, Edna," Mona said kindly.

"But that's just it, Mona. I never _encouraged _Jo not to run away from her problems. I never came to her from a place of _kindness _or _empathy_ to give her _encouragement_. Whenever I got on Jo's case about running away from her problems, it was always from a place of _self-righteousness _and _judgment_. I really did look down through my nose on Jo for running away from her problems; I really did think I was so far above Jo because until this point in my life, I didn't run away from things like she did. But now I see that it was never until this point in my life that I'd felt the same level of pain that Jo has been through. I've been through my share of hardships just like everybody else, but I've never been rejected by a parent. I think I see it now that the kind of pain I'm feeling at the thought of losing Jo," said Edna as she choked back a sob, "must be the same horrific kind of pain Jo's been feeling all these years because of what Mr. and Mrs. Polniaczek have each put her through with their different kinds of abandonment and rejection. That day when Jessie told me off, she said that the human heart can only handle so much pain and that sometimes a person actually needs to run away in order to keep herself sane. I didn't understand that before. Boy, I sure do understand it now. For all my preaching, for all my lectures, I honestly didn't understand until now just how badly Jo has been hurting inside all this time. I sure _thought _I knew, but I really didn't. But now, after walking a mile in Jo's shoes, I finally _do _get it. After all these years that I've had that tiny part of my heart looking down on Jo for running away from her problems, I understand now what hellish kind of pain she's been dealing with inside. I understand now that I really should have shown her a lot more empathy and a lot less judgment. Instead of preaching lectures at her and laying guilt trips on her whenever she was in a lot of pain and she tried to run away, I should have just shut the heck up, put my arms around that precious girl, loved on her, and listened to her."

Unable to hold it back any longer, Mrs. Garrett finally gave in to the sobs that had been building in the back of her throat and allowed herself to cry while Mona lovingly took her into her arms and held her.

"I know, darling," Mona whispered. "I know. I know. I know you're hurting right now. I know how heartbreaking it is to think about the way that Jo has suffered through the years. Natalie told me all about what happened between you and Mrs. Polniaczek that day at the hospital; she's told me all about how the truth has come out about the terrible way Jo has been treated throughout her life. It breaks my heart as well. And when our hearts are broken, it's okay to allow ourselves a good, long cry."

Mona continued to hold her close for the next several minutes as she got everything all cried out of her system. Meanwhile, Blair, Natalie, and Tootie, all of whom had just gotten back from the hospital that afternoon, opened the kitchen door to come in when they saw Mrs. Garrett crying in Mona's arms. Neither Mrs. Garrett nor Mona saw the girls, and when they saw them they instantly realized this was a very private moment between the two women, so they went back into the cafeteria unseen.

Finally, their embrace ended, and Mrs. Garrett looked at Mona and said, "Oh Mona, _I know_ I'm in the wrong, here. _I know_ that by my hiding away here in the kitchen after all my lectures to Jo and just burying my head in the oven – burying my head in the sand like an ostrich – I'm being the biggest hypocrite in the world. _I know _that Mr. and Mrs. Polniaczek haven't been by the hospital since we all found out how little time she has left, and _I know _I ought to put my money where my mouth is and march myself over to that little girl's hospital room and start being there for her now. This is so crazy. I'm a registered nurse. I've taken care of terminally ill patients before. I've even seen patients die. But I can't do it this time, Mona. I just can't do it. I can't watch Jo die. I cannot sit by that precious child's bedside and watch her die before my very eyes. I just can't. I know I should, but I can't."

"Dear Edna, I know you're hurting. Given the way Mr. and Mrs. Polniaczek have treated Jo all her life, it's safe to say that _you_ are the only _real _parent that dear child has ever known. And for that same reason, it is also safe to say that right now, with the exception of Jo, _you_ are hurting more than anyone. Let's just put everything out there and tell the whole truth. Ever since Jo first started attending Eastland a few years ago, it is _you _who has been raising her. _You _are the only person who has invested time, effort, and energy into this dear girl's overall well-being for _her _sake and not out of any self-serving agenda. Your official title at this school is that of nutritionist. Dietician, some call it. But you are _not _Jo Polniaczek's nutritionist or dietician. You're not her friend. You're not her guardian, as some would say. You are in fact so much more. You're her _mother_, Edna. You've never allowed yourself to admit it because you didn't want to get in the way of Jo's relationship with Mrs. Polniaczek, but deep down in your heart of hearts, you know the truth. You know that you love that dear girl just as much as you love your very own sons. You couldn't love her any more had you carried her and given birth to her yourself. _She is _the daughter you never had. That's why you're in so much agony right now. You're not a friend losing a friend. You're not a faculty member losing a student. You're not a nurse losing a patient. _You're a mother losing a daughter. _And any real mother would struggle with facing pain of that magnitude, just as you're struggling now. It's nothing to berate yourself for. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's just _human._

"And yes, I know that this is extremely painful, and that's putting it mildly. I know that this is the most agonizing ordeal you've ever faced in all your life. Helping Jo through this will be the hardest thing you have ever done, and even for someone who's been around as long as I've been, I don't know any magic words to say to make it any easier. But I can tell you this. If you choose to run away now instead of standing by Jo and helping her in her greatest hour of need, you will regret it every day for the rest of your life. If, on the other hand, you choose to face the pain and be there for your Jo at the point in her life when she needs you the most, it will be a decision you will _never_ regret. If you choose to be there for her now, then you will _always _be able to look back on this heartbreaking time in your life and take comfort in the fact that you helped your dear little girl leave this world in comfort and peace, feeling the warmth of your love. I know it's hard, Edna. Indescribably hard. But you've got to do it. You've got to face up to this and go to the hospital. You've got to take that little girl into your arms and rock her and feed her all the love she's missed out on all her life, just as if it were mother's milk. And you've got to do it because you're the only real mother she's ever known. Do you _really _want her to have to go through something like this without a mother?"

Unable to bring herself to answer, Mrs. Garrett simply broke down and started crying again, and Mona held her once more.


	7. Enough

**A/N: **See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

**Chapter 7: Enough**

Later on that evening, Mrs. Garrett summoned her courage and went to the hospital. But to her horror, as soon as she arrived, she discovered that Jo wasn't there. She learned from one of the nurses that even though Jo was obviously not well, she had decided earlier that day to check herself out of the hospital. Since she was now eighteen and legally considered an adult, she was able to leave the hospital if she wanted to, even if it was against medical advice. None of the nurses had a clue where Jo might have gone, and unfortunately, neither did Mrs. Garrett. As soon as she got back to Eastland, she called Mrs. Polniaczek to see if Jo had gone back to her home in the Bronx, but according to her, Jo wasn't there. It was then that Mrs. Garrett really began to hit the panic button.

Mrs. Garrett and the girls remained in a state of panic over the next two days. They called everyone they could think of, including Jessie, but nobody had seen Jo anywhere. They were all petrified that something might happen to Jo, and that was putting it mildly.

Finally, on the morning of the third day of Jo's disappearance, a Friday morning, their minds were put at ease. It was about nine o'clock and the girls had been in class for around an hour, and Mrs. Garrett was in her bedroom when she heard an unexpected knock at her door.

In that moment, Mrs. Garrett called, "Come in."

Jo entered then, and as soon as Mrs. G. saw her, she threw her arms around her and clung to her for dear life and struggled to hold in all her tears.

"Jo, do you have any idea how worried we've all been? Sweetheart, where on earth did you go?"

"It's really a long story, Mrs. G.," Jo said softly.

"Come on," said Mrs. Garrett as she took Jo by the hand and led her over to her bed. "Let's sit down together and talk."

"Sure thing, Mrs. G.," Jo agreed, and then they sat down on her bed, side by side.

"Now, tell me, what's been going on?" Mrs. Garrett kindly asked while keeping a firm but loving grip on Jo's hand.

"Well, a few days ago, I woke up in the ICU and one of the nurses explained to me what had happened. Just a few minutes after I talked with the nurse, Rose came to visit me."

It was in that instant that Mrs. Garrett began to put two and two together.

"Oh, no," she said in a deep voice. "Jo, did she hurt you? I don't mean in a physical sense. Did she hurt you with her words?"

"She sure hurt me, but it was more than that. This was somethin' that ran way deeper than merely hurting me. Rose is forty years-old, but yet, when she came to see me in the hospital that day, basically, _she _was bein' the kid and _I _was bein' the parent. _I _was the one havin' to comfort _her _when _I _was the one who had just found out I was dying. She kept cryin' and goin' on about how all _her _dreams of me graduating Eastland and goin' to college were dead now. It was about _her _and _her _dead dreams, like what I was goin' through didn't matter at all. Like _I _didn't matter at all. I just felt so trapped. I couldn't handle it. I felt like, if I didn't get outta that hospital room that instant, I was gonna suffocate."

As soon as Jo said that, Mrs. Garrett instantly hugged Jo and kissed her cheek and held her close. With Jo still in her arms, Edna looked down into her eyes and told her, "Oh my sweet girl, it's no wonder you felt that way. I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help you. I should have been there."

"What? You're not gonna lecture me because I ran away?"

Edna fervently shook her head then and assured Jo, "No lectures, sweetheart. When you were in the ICU this last time and I found out how sick you are, let's just say I got a good taste of what you've been going through your whole life. Oh, I'm very good at preaching my lectures, but the truth is, throughout your young life, you have experienced levels of pain I can't even begin to imagine, and your heart attack basically forced me to walk a mile in your shoes. And when I started experiencing the kind of hellish pain you've endured, I ran away, too. The girls went to visit you in the ICU, but I couldn't bring myself to face it." Tears filled Edna's eyes then as she said, "I couldn't bear the thought of losing you. So I became an ostrich for a little while, and I stuck my head in the sand. I refused to face it. I refused to go to see you in the hospital because I couldn't take the thought of losing someone I love as much as I love you. After the way I acted, I am _never, ever _going to lecture you about running away again."

Jo nodded with understanding, and then she sat up straight again and said, "Well, at least you acted that way because you really care about me and you didn't want to see me suffer. Rose _did _come to see me, but not because she actually cared about me. She only did it because she wanted to play the part of The Saintly Mother to her friends and neighbors. And the minute she was alone with me behind closed doors, the saint mask came off, just like it always does, and she twisted everything and made it all about _her._"

"Just like all narcissists do," Edna said with a sad sigh while wiping her eyes with a tissue.

"Yeah," Jo whispered, and then she got up from the side of the bed and began pacing a bit. Edna stood up then as well.

"Oh Jo, I owe you an apology. I owe you a number of apologies." Jo stopped pacing in that moment and focused her gaze on Edna's face.

"What for?"

"For always taking your parents' side over yours through the years when _they _were the ones who abandoned you and rejected you. For taking such a self-righteous attitude against you all this time. For jumping to unfair conclusions in my ignorance and adding to your burdens. I didn't even see it all this time, but when you had your heart attack, I finally realized that all along, there's been a tiny part of my heart that had this attitude that I was so far above you because I didn't run from my problems like you did. And I'm beginning to see it now that I've always been unfairly biased against you girls; I've always sided with all your parents over you whenever your parents have done things that have hurt you. That isn't right. And I see now that because of my personal biases as a parent, I've come to unfair conclusions about you and Mrs. Polniaczek. Instead of getting to know Mrs. Polniaczek for myself before coming to any conclusions about your relationship, I immediately made a wrong assumption. Like almost every other adult around you your whole life, I too bought into the lie that because Mrs. Polniaczek was working so hard to send you to Eastland, that automatically meant that she was a loving parent. I'm just as guilty as everybody else of allowing myself to fall for Mrs. Polniaczek's Saintly Mother Act and adding to your already horrific burdens as a result. I never for a moment considered that it might be possible that she was doing it for self-serving reasons, rather than out of love and concern for you. I never once considered that it might be possible that Mrs. Polniaczek had been exposing you to years of verbal and emotional abuse. I know how much you've always beaten up on yourself over all of Mrs. Polniaczek's so-called 'sacrifices' to send you to Eastland, and when I stupidly and arrogantly laid guilt trips on you about it, I only made your pain and your burdens so much worse. _I am so sorry, Jo. _I never _meant _to do anything to hurt you through the years, but I did, and I cannot apologize enough. I apologize for not being there when you needed me at the hospital, and I especially apologize for everything I ever did to make your burdens heavier. You've always deserved better, Jo. Better from Mr. and Mrs. Polniaczek, and better from me. I haven't told you this nearly enough over the years, but I have always had so much respect for you, Jo. You've been through hell in the Bronx. Your parents have put you through an emotional kind of hell. You're a strong, special, incredible young woman to have come through all of that the way you have. I am so ashamed of myself that it took you having a heart attack to make me see this, but I do see it now that I really have taken you for granted. I love you so much, Jo, and I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything."

"Mrs. G.," Jo whispered, and immediately, she hugged her tightly for a good, long while. Edna fiercely returned the hug, and they cried together for several minutes. When they finally let go, Jo looked into Edna's eyes and told her, "I want you to know that I'm sorry for just takin' off the way I did. I probably really upset you and the girls by doin' that and I'm sorry. I never meant to make you guys worry. It's just that like I said a minute ago, after everything Rose said to me in the hospital that day, I felt like I was gonna suffocate if I didn't get out of that hospital room. There were just so many things hitting me so fast, coming at me from all different directions. I didn't leave the hospital because I wanted to scare you guys, and I didn't leave because I was tryin' to run away from my problems. I left because I needed some time on my own to work through this whole mess and sort it all out in my mind."

"I understand. You've been dealt an utterly awful blow. It's perfectly understandable that you'd need a little time on your own to think things through. Where have you been all this time?"

"When I left the hospital, I went straight over to my Aunt Deb's apartment. You know she's an airline stewardess and her job takes her all over the world."

"Yes, I know that."

"Well, for a long time now, Aunt Deb and I have had this private agreement between the two of us that whenever things got too crazy between Rose and me and I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, I could go to her place any time I wanted, day or night, just to get away for a while. I've spent many nights over at my Aunt Deb's place through the years. Sometimes she was at home, but many times she was somewhere halfway across the world because of her job. When I go to her apartment and she's not home, I just get her key that she always leaves for me under the rug outside her apartment door and I let myself in. That's what I did the other day. Aunt Deb's been in Europe this past week, so I went over to her place and I had the apartment all to myself. It was just what I needed."

"I'm glad you had a place you could go to clear your head, Jo. But still, you should have called us and let us know where you were."

"I'm sorry. I guess I should have, It's just that I was afraid that if I did call you, you'd want to try to get me to talk and open up about my feelings and everything, and I just wasn't ready to do that yet. I needed some time."

"I think I understand."

"But _I am _ready to talk about it all now. You know now what I've been goin' through with Rose my whole life."

"Yes, I do know."

"My entire life, she has _constantly _made me feel like she would've been better off had I never been born. All these years, I put up with it. I put up with _her_. I bought into this whole mentality that just because she donated an egg at the moment of my conception, it gave her the right to disrespect me and treat me like manure if she wanted to. But then, the first night I spent at Aunt Deb's place, I had a dream, and it changed everything."

"Go on," Edna said with obvious interest.

"I know it'll sound crazy, but I dreamed that Jesus was standing in Aunt Deb's guest bedroom where I was sleeping, and I woke up and saw Him there and got out of bed. As soon as I did that, He put His arms around me and He whispered three sentences in my ear that I'll never forget."

Captivated by what Jo was saying, Edna anxiously asked, "What did He say?"

"The first sentence He said to me was, 'They aren't your mother and father.' The second sentence He said was, 'They were always wrong to break your heart the way they did for so many years.' The last thing He said was, 'Knowing that I have created you constantly gives me joy.' Then we just held onto each other and hugged for so long, until finally, I woke up from the dream."

"That's amazing, Jo."

"Yeah, it sure is. I woke up wondering what Jesus could have possibly meant when He said that Rose and Charlie weren't my mother and father, so I opened up the Bible you gave me a couple of years ago and started doing a little research. I came across chapter twelve of Matthew where Jesus was talking about who His true family was. He said that the people who were really His mother and His siblings were the people who did the Father's will. So in other words, Jesus was saying that being related to Him, being a member of His family, is not something that is defined by genetics. A person actually could be related to Jesus Christ by blood, but if they refuse to do the will of the Father by rejecting His only begotten Son in unbelief, they're not really a member of Christ's family. I realized that when I read all that in the twelfth chapter of Matthew. And it was then that I began to put two and two together, and I finally saw the truth. Just as it is impossible for someone to truly be a member of Christ's family if they reject Him, even if they are related to Him by blood, it is also impossible for an egg donor and a sperm donor who reject their child to truly be seen as that child's mother and father in the eyes of the Almighty God. Rose rejected me through her own narcissism and all her years of verbal and emotional abuse, and Charlie rejected me when he abandoned me. They donated a sperm and an egg, they donated the required DNA, but they never really cared about me. And I finally get it now that in the eyes of the Lord, there really is a world of difference between two people who merely have sex with each other and donate DNA to make a baby, and two people who genuinely love a child and _willingly_, _joyfully _invest their time and effort and energy into caring for that child. Two people who love their child more they love themselves, who genuinely care about their child's well-being and _want _to put their child's needs first, _those _are the people who are true parents. _Those _are the people the Fifth Commandment applies to. Not to mere DNA donors who care nothing for their kids and verbally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, or sexually abuse them."

"Oh Jo, speaking as a parent myself, I couldn't possibly agree more."

"It really feels good to hear you say that. All my life, whenever I've needed to vent about what Rose was putting me through and I'd try to talk to an adult who was a professing Christian, I'd just get the Fifth Commandment shoved down my throat. Deep down, I've always hated that commandment, because it's always sounded like God was tryin' to make the parent/child relationship out to be a one-way street against kids. God commanded kids to honor parents, but in the Ten Commandments, He didn't say anything about how parents were supposed to take care of their kids. It looked like God made it so one-sided. And the way people have used that commandment against me my whole life…it just made me sick. But now, after that dream, I know better. I know now that God never intended that commandment to be used as a weapon against abused kids, and He certainly never intended it to be used by parents and professing Christian adults to justify their own internal prejudice against children and young people. He _never _intended for people to use it to try to say that children and young people have less value in His eyes than parents and adults do and that parents can treat their children like subhuman objects and still get rewarded with honor in the process."

Edna then lovingly touched Jo's cheek with her fingertips and gently said, "How right you are, my precious girl. It also says in the New Testament that elders in the church who perform their duties well should receive double honor, which likely meant that they should receive both respect and financial support. However, the Pharisees were considered the spiritual leaders when Jesus was on the earth and He certainly didn't reward all their evil behavior with honor. He told them the truth about themselves. He called them a brood of vipers. He even called them sons of hell. And Jesus _is _the example we're to follow. Furthermore, it also says in the book of Proverbs that honor is not fitting for a fool. And it takes an unbelievable kind of fool to be blessed with the remarkable gift of a child and to abuse her instead of appreciating her.

"It is _such _a sad commentary about today's church that countless professing Christians are acting like fools without a shred of common sense; who are refusing to interpret Scripture with Scripture like we're supposed to do. The Pharisees weren't just evil spiritual leaders in Jesus's day, Jo; there are plenty of Pharisees in the world today; modern-day Pharisees in the church who tie up heavy loads and place them on people's shoulders and do not lift a finger to help carry them. Professing Christians who refuse to allow abused children to vent about their DNA donors' evil behavior and refuse to do anything about the abuse and try to tell abused children to reward their DNA donors' evil behavior with honor are acting just like the Pharisees of Jesus's day. They're tying up heavy burdens and placing them on abused children's shoulders and they're not lifting a finger to help carry them. Trying to use the Fifth Commandment to enable and reward child abusers for murdering their children's spirits is in fact a direct slap to God's face. That is _not _who the Almighty God is. That is not at all His character or what He's all about. God isn't prejudiced against _any _group of people. He isn't prejudiced against Jews or Gentiles or blacks or whites or people of any race, nor is He prejudiced against men or women, nor is He prejudiced against old people or young people. Everybody, _everybody_, is made in His image and has equal value, _and that absolutely includes children and young people_. God doesn't see children as having less value in His eyes than parents do, and the _last _thing He ever intended was for the Fifth Commandment to be used by a bunch of modern-day Pharisees in the church to endorse a warped mentality that says that children are mere objects to be used by their parents however they please.

"Jo, you have to understand that back in the culture of the day that the Ten Commandments were written, if people weren't able to have children, they were considered by everyone to be cursed by God. I think the reason why God didn't give a special commandment to parents to take good care of their children when He wrote the Ten Commandments was because in that particular time and culture, there was no need for Him to. If a couple was blessed with a child in those days, it was unthinkable that they would refuse to properly care for that child. When God gave that commandment to children, He gave it to them _for their well-being_. _For their protection_. **NOT **to enable or reward child abusers for their evil behavior. Given the way Jesus dealt with the spiritual leaders of His day and given the fact that the Bible clearly says in Proverbs that honor is not fitting for a fool, I think we can draw the obvious conclusion that the Fifth Commandment was meant to honor _real parents _who truly care for their children and _not _mere DNA donors who abuse and neglect their children and care nothing for them at all."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was the point Jesus was trying to make in my dream. It always made me feel so worthless in God's eyes whenever I needed to vent my hurt and anger to someone about everything Rose was puttin' me through when I was younger and they'd refuse to really listen to me and refuse to take me seriously and just shove the Fifth Commandment down my throat. But now I know the truth. Charlie and Rose were always wrong to put me through so much agony inside, and God _doesn't _believe in rewarding the evil behavior of child abusers. Child abuse is an _abomination _to Christ. I believe that with all my heart, especially after that dream."

"So do I," Edna whispered while trying to fight off another onslaught of tears.

"It's like they were all tryin' to say deep down that it was okay that Charlie and Rose both tore me apart inside the way that they did because I was a young person who didn't have as much value as a parent or an adult. So it was really healing for me when Jesus reassured me that they were always wrong to break my heart through their rejection of me the way that they did."

"Again, Jo, I have to tell you that **I am so sorry. **I see it now that in my own way, through my own ignorance, I added to your burdens just like all the other Pharisees in your life did. I sure acted like a modern-day Pharisee when Mr. Polniaczek came to Eastland. I basically sided with _him_ instead of you. I swept his evil behavior against you under the rug and I said, 'Oh, he just made a mistake.' I actually had the gall to tell him that _he _was the one who had been through a lot when we were talking in private, when the fact is, it's _you _who's been through more than any of us. I get it now that instead of lecturing you to try and reconcile with him, I should have simply given you emotional support and reassured you that he was wrong to cause you such great pain. And when it comes to the way Mrs. Polniaczek has always treated you, Lord knows you never got any help from me in that department until I finally witnessed her abusing you myself. Oh Jo, can you ever forgive me for being such a modern-day Pharisee?"

"You're not a Pharisee, Mrs. G. It's pretty obvious that a Pharisee would never admit they were wrong about anything, much less apologize and seek forgiveness. Pharisees don't care when they do something that hurts others. You have enough integrity inside of you to admit it when you're wrong about something and apologize. Integrity is something a child-abuse-enabling, modern-day Pharisee will never have."

"Thank you for saying that, Jo," Edna said in an emotional whisper.

"It's just the truth. Yeah, it really did hurt, havin' you side with Charlie and Rose all the time over me, but by the time I came to Eastland, I was used to adults actin' that way. And just like my experience of meeting with Jesus in my dream was very healing for me, it's also healing to hear you admit what you've done and to know that you're sorry and that you do care. It also meant the world to me earlier to hear you acknowledge the kind of hell I've been through and hear you talk about how much you respect me for it."

"I should have told you that ages ago, Jo. I'm so sorry I didn't."

"You're sayin' it now. That's what counts. And I want you to know that the things you've said today have really helped my heart. _A lot_. Almost as much as the last thing Jesus told me in the dream."

"When He talked about how much joy it gives Him to have created you?"

"Yeah. See, you know now that all my life, Rose has basically been makin' me feel guilty for every breath I take. She's always acted like she's resented everything she's ever had to do for me and like she would've been so much better off had she never had me. I practically felt as though my entire existence was a sin of some kind; like I was some kind of nauseating mistake that should have never been born. Deep down, I've felt that way my whole life. But now, I realize that I was never a mistake, Mrs. G. _Jesus _is the One who wanted me here. He planned for me to be here all along, even if only for a short time. After Jesus said what He said to me in that dream, I finally realized that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made just like everybody else is; that just like every other human being, I too am a unique creation of the Almighty God, worthy of respect. All my life, my self-esteem has always been beneath the floor because of what Charlie and Rose did to me, and I've always taken care of everybody else, including the people who were supposed to be my parents, and I've never really taken care of myself. I always came last. I never really mattered as much as my DNA donors and the rest of the neighborhood. Everything I did was always for them. I busted my butt here at Eastland, makin' good grades, makin' it to the top of my class, workin' two part-time jobs, not ever for _my _sake, because _I _mattered, but to make Rose and the rest of the neighborhood happy. I always felt so guilty that I had the opportunity to go to a fancy school like Eastland and they didn't, so everything I did here was for their sake, never for mine.

"Even when I found out about my heart problems, I didn't go to Rose and let her be the parent and let her be there for me and try to help me like a true parent is _supposed _to do when their child is sick. As usual, I put that snake first. I stayed in the role of the parent, and I kept this whole thing to myself so she wouldn't be worried or upset, and I tried to take care of it all on my own. That's how it's always been between her and me from day one. And as it turns out, the whole time, Rose _did _have the money to help me when I was certain she didn't. She saved up some money and made an investment in the stock market a while back, and it actually ended up bein' a good investment and it paid off. She's had about twenty thousand dollars just sittin' in the bank for months that she was savin' to send me to college. And when she came to visit me in the hospital that day, that was the very first thing I heard about when the door was closed and it was just the two of us. Instead of bein' upset that her kid is dying, she gets upset and cries and whines and complains about how she's wasted all her time puttin' me through Eastland and made that investment in my college education for nothin'. And as far as me keepin' my problems to myself is concerned, does she do a nanosecond of introspection? Does she ever ask herself _why _I always felt like I needed to parent her instead of allowing her to do her job and parent me? Nope. She says it's _my _fault for not comin' to her about this in the first place and she even says it's my fault that I'm dying and that her dreams are dead. She told me that my heart attack probably would never have happened had I told her about everything earlier and let her use the money she had in the bank to pay for my surgery before the accident happened. Ain't that somethin'? When I was in the ICU the first time, she got on my case because I supposedly embarrassed her and made her look bad since Blair was payin' for everything. Yet now, she reveals that she's had twenty grand in the bank all along and that she could've stopped the Warners from footin' the bill and taken care of it herself, so her first excuse for chewin' me out was really just a load of bull. She just did it because she obviously gets some kind of sick, twisted pleasure out of hurting me."

"_Unbelievable_," Edna gasped in horror.

"Yeah, no kidding. You know, in the past, whenever Rose would spew all her venom on me, I'd believe her when she'd tell me it was all my fault that she was acting that way. Everything was always my fault somehow, and I constantly just accepted that blindly. After all, she was my 'mother,' right? But when she was spewing all her venom in the hospital this last time, something inside me just snapped, and I _finally _began to see Rose for the narcissistic, abusive snake that she really is. She literally was tryin' to suck the life right outta me, but this last time, it didn't work. I just blocked her out and stopped listening to her. I just stared out into space and didn't say anything; didn't give any reaction. I could tell that it really drove her crazy that she couldn't get under my skin and hurt me and break my heart like she's always done before."

"I'll bet it did. That was a very wise way to handle the situation, Jo, and I am _so _proud of you."

"Thank you. I'm pretty happy with myself, too. You see, ever since that hospital visit from Rose and that dream I had, something inside me has really changed. I am not the same person anymore. It's similar to when I first became a Christian, I mean _really _became a Christian. I was born and raised in a Catholic household and all my life, and I was brought up with the idea that you had to earn your salvation through prayin' the rosary and goin' to confession and doin' penance. Just like everything with Rose and Charlie, that, too, was a terrible burden on my shoulders because deep down in my gut, I always knew that I could never really be good enough to make it into heaven when I died. I finally realized after I started really studying the Bible you gave me that the very reason _why _Jesus died on the cross in our place to begin with was so His perfect righteousness could become ours if we trusted Him. And having Jesus's righteousness through faith in Him _is _enough to get us into heaven when we die. Jesus is the One who said, 'Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.' And when I finally started trusting in _Him _and not in my own works to save me from the eternal penalty of my sins, _He did _give me the rest I needed."

"I know exactly what you're talking about, Jo. I had to come to the same realization, myself."

"And it's the same way with Rose and Charlie. When Jesus gave me that dream, once again, He helped me find the rest I've needed my whole life. He released me from all the unfair burdens Rose and Charlie have strapped to my shoulders all these years."

"I'm so glad."

"So am I. But you know, I've wasted _so much _of my life on Rose, Mrs. G.," Jo said bitterly. "I've wasted _so much _of my precious time tryin' to earn the love and approval of a narcissistic snake who was _never _going to give it. I allowed her to strap all these unfair burdens on my shoulders for years. But after that last hospital visit from her, _I finally _allowed myself to start getting angry, and I said to myself inside, 'Enough.' _I am not _wasting any more of my precious time and energy on Rose, Mrs. Garrett. _I will not _wear myself out anymore tryin' to please her, and I will no longer put Rose's needs or Charlie's needs or the neighborhood's needs before mine. I've spent my whole life wearin' myself out tryin' to make them happy. My entire time here at Eastland has been a waste, and I am _so_ angry about that. All this time, I've been just wastin' my time earnin' all these good grades, tryin' to make Rose happy when she was _never _gonna be happy. Ninety-nine percent of my entire life has been _wasted _on tryin' to earn a snake's approval, and that just makes me sick.

"Well, you know what, Mrs. Garrett? _I am _**not **_gonna waste the one percent of my life that I still have left. I _have needs too. It's about time that _I _started to matter for once. It's time for _me _to count now. It's time to start focusing on _my _dreams, not Rose's. I'm not gonna use all of Rose's years of narcissistic abuse as an excuse to turn into a selfish jerk. I'm not gonna stop carin' about other people and I'm certainly not gonna do anything to hurt anyone, but from here on out, I'm gonna do somethin' I never allowed myself to do before. I'm gonna start takin' care of _me._ I'm not gonna base my whole life on livin' out a narcissist's dreams anymore. I'm not gonna waste the rest of my life like that. From here on out, _my _dreams are gonna take center stage. Like I said before, it's time that _I _started to matter now. It's time for _me _to be taken care of now. Lord knows I never have been before. Not by the two people I really _needed _to be there for me and take care of me as parents. Well, no more. I'm drawin' the line right here, and I'm sayin' somethin' that should've been said years ago: _enough._"

With rivers of silent tears streaming down her cheeks, Edna laid a gentle hand on Jo's shoulder and said in a deep, emotional tone, "Jo, listen to me. I know now that you have been through absolute hell in your young life. You have endured things that I cannot even begin to imagine, and I know I haven't always shown you enough appreciation and respect. I know I haven't always supported you the way I should have."

"This is not about you, Mrs. Garrett. This is about taking a stand against the evil way my DNA donors have always treated me."

"I understand that. But what I'm trying to say is, even though I've failed you before in my own personal ignorance and prejudice, and even though I haven't told you often enough how deeply I respect you, you have made an _enormous _impact upon my life. As a matter of fact, the word 'enormous' isn't even enough to really describe it, but I can't think of a better word. I know that the way Mrs. Polniaczek selfishly used you all your life and all the verbal and emotional abuse she subjected you to was just pure evil. I see that now. But I want you to know that despite what your DNA donors did to you, your life has _never _been a waste. Your time at Eastland was _never _a waste. You are absolutely right when you say that after everything you have been through, it _is _time, _high time_, that you _finally _started taking care of yourself and being good to yourself for a change. But even though Mrs. Polniaczek did only send you to Eastland out of a self-serving agenda, still, it's a _good_ thing that you've been here these past few years. A _wonderful _thing. You have been a remarkable example of genuine honor and integrity, and in this wicked, messed-up world, those are two things that are very hard to find. You're so bright, and you're so strong, but you also have the sweetest, most tender heart I've ever seen. You've set such a great example for all of us to follow. You've enriched our lives so very much. You've made us all better people, just by being around you. And as for me personally, I cannot thank Jesus enough that He brought you into my life."

Once again, they just clung to each other and cried for the longest time. After their long embrace was over, Jo looked into Edna's eyes and said through her tears, "Thanks for sayin' that, Mrs. G."

"It's just the truth."

"But still, it means a lot."

"_You _mean a lot."

"Thank you."

Edna and Jo got some tissues off Edna's nightstand then and wiped their eyes. When they'd done that, Edna asked Jo, "You're not planning to go back to Mrs. Polniaczek's apartment, are you?"

"Are you crazy?" Jo responded with a sarcastic chuckle, and Edna laughed as well. "No, I'm not goin' back to the Bronx. And I'm not goin' back to the hospital, either. I spent last night at Rose's apartment, as a matter of fact. And we've come to an agreement."

"What sort of agreement?" Edna asked with obvious concern in her voice. She knew, she just _knew _in her gut that this was _not _going to be good.

"When I went to her place last night, she started complainin' about me leavin' the hospital and supposedly 'worrying' her so much. I knew it was a load of bull. And I knew what it was she was _really _sayin' underneath all her complaining. I knew that deep down, she was only whining and complaining so much because she didn't want to have to be bothered with taking care of me. She didn't and _doesn't_ want to be stuck with a dying kid on her hands. She wants to live her own life and do her own thing now that _her _dreams of me graduating from Eastland and going to college are officially dead. And, I _will not _spend whatever time I have left just wastin' away inside some dumb hospital room. So, Rose and I agreed that we'd split that money she's got in the bank halfway. We got it out of her account this morning, and she took her half and I took mine. She said she was gonna use her half of the money to move away to Miami. She's always wanted to live in Miami."

"And what about you?" Edna timidly asked, truly afraid to hear the answer.

"Remember a couple of minutes ago when I was goin' on about how I've always busted my butt tryin' to live out other people's dreams and how from now on, I was gonna start livin' out my dreams for a change?"

"Of course."

"Well, I've been doin' some hard thinkin' about all this, and I think you know that it's always been a dream of mine to just throw on my jacket and my helmet and get on my bike and just hit the road. I've always wanted to hop on my bike and just go somewhere, anywhere in America. I've also been thinkin' about how busy I've always been at Eastland with my classes and my part-time jobs. I've never really taken the time to just slow down and truly enjoy life. I almost never take the time to take a walk through the park, smell the roses, go on picnics, or just watch a beautiful sunrise or sunset. Well like I said a few moments ago, I refuse to end my life just wasting away on some hospital bed. _I am not _goin' out like that. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure yet where I'm gonna go. I just know that tomorrow night, after everyone's gone to bed, I'm gonna do what I've always wanted to do. I'm gonna hop on my bike, and just hit the road. I may end up in Arizona, seein' the Grand Canyon. I may end up in Colorado, seein' the Rocky Mountains. I may end up at a beach somewhere in California. I can't tell you for certain where I'm gonna end up. I'll just have to figure it out as I go along. But I _can _tell you this. Wherever I _do _go, I'm gonna take walks through the park. I'm gonna smell the roses. I'm gonna go on picnics. And I'm gonna watch sunrises and sunsets. _That's _how I'm goin' out, Edna."

Edna then put her hands on Jo's upper arms, looked intently into her green eyes, and told her, "Jo, listen to me. You cannot just take off and go out all on your own like that. You are far too ill to be out on the road all by yourself."

Suddenly, Edna saw a peace in Jo's eyes she'd never seen before, and Jo responded, "But I won't be alone, Edna. Ever since I had that dream, I've been filled with a kind of peace I've never had before. I am filled with an absolute certainty that even though I'm about to walk through the valley of the shadow of death, Jesus is gonna be right there with me through every second of it. Sure, it's gonna be difficult and scary, but _I know _that in the end, I'm gonna be okay. I don't know where I'm gonna go when I hit the road tomorrow night. I don't know what's gonna happen next. But that's okay. After all, we're supposed to walk by faith, not by sight, right?"

"Oh Jo, I–"

"Listen, these past few days have really taken their toll on me, and even though it's only morning, I'm pretty tired. If it's alright with you, I'd like to just go to bed and lie down for a while. Let's argue this whole thing out later, okay?"

Edna nodded and said, "Okay, sweetheart." She then kissed her cheek, gave her another hug, and told her, "Go lie down. Get some rest."

"Thanks," Jo responded, and then she went across the hall, got into her pajamas, laid down, and quickly drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Meanwhile, Edna was worried to death after hearing about Jo's plans, and she couldn't stop pacing in her room.


	8. Deep Discussions

**A/N: **See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

**Chapter 8: Deep Discussions**

When Jo woke up from her nap later on in the afternoon, Edna served her lunch in bed, and then they talked further about the subject of Jo's planned departure the following night. Jo explained that she didn't want any painful, emotional goodbyes with the girls; that she just wanted to slip away after they'd gone to sleep. Edna tried very hard to convince Jo to change her mind, but Jo simply would not budge. Jo and Edna did agree on one thing, however. They (obviously) agreed to keep Jo's plans to themselves and not tell the girls.

At about ten-thirty the next night, after Blair, Natalie, and Tootie were fast asleep, Jo got her overnight bag, her denim jacket, and her helmet out of the hall closet, put her jacket and helmet on, and quietly walked downstairs to the kitchen. Naturally, as soon as Jo made it downstairs, Edna was standing there waiting for her. Jo could take one look into those fierce blue eyes of hers and tell that Edna was ready for battle.

"I guess this is it," Jo said with a sigh.

Edna shook her head and responded, "No, Jo, it's not. You're not going anywhere tonight."

"I already told you I was."

"Jo, I'm forbidding you to leave tonight."

After a short pause, Jo said, "With all due respect, you don't have the right to do that. You're not my mother, and I'm not a child. Since my diagnosis, nobody expects me to attend classes anymore, and there's not much point anyway since graduation is this comin' Friday. I'm not an Eastland student anymore, and I'm no longer your responsibility. This is my life – and my death – and how I choose to handle it is up to me, not you."

"_Don't you_ _dare _stand there and try to tell me that I'm not your mother. You said yourself the other day that the difference between DNA donors and true parents is that DNA donors merely have sex and donate the required DNA to produce a child, while true parents are people who genuinely love a child and willfully, joyfully invest their time and effort and energy into caring for that child. There is no way you can stand there and tell me that I haven't done that for the past three years. I may not have given birth to you, _but I am your mother._ You may be Rose Polniaczek's offspring, _but you're my child_," Edna said firmly.

But then in the next moment, Edna's face softened as she walked up closer to Jo and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. In a gentler tone of voice, Edna told her, "I understand and respect the fact that you have the right to make your own decisions about how to finish out your life."

"You mean, I have the right to choose how to die."

"Yes," Edna whispered. "You have the right to choose how to die. However, one thing you_ don't _have the right to do is to go out on the road to only God knows where, all on your own, as gravely ill as you are, and worry me sick. _You do not _have the right to put me through that. Not after all the time I've spent loving you."

"Edna," Jo sighed, and then their eyes locked. "Ma," she said gently, "I don't think you get it. I'm not just sayin' goodbye and hittin' the road for my sake. I'm doin' it for yours, too."

"I don't understand."

"When my friend Gloria killed herself, when she jumped off the school roof that day, she didn't die instantly. I saw her fall to the ground when I was lookin' out the classroom window, and I was the first person to run outside. She didn't live long enough for the ambulance to get there, but she remained alive for about another minute or two after she jumped. _I watched her die, Ma._ _I watched her die._"

"Oh, Jo, that's awful," Edna gasped as a couple of tears came to her eyes.

"Yeah. _It was _awful. That's my point. You don't want to see me die, Ma. You _do not _want that memory stuck in your head. I don't want you to have to stand by, just watchin' me gettin' sicker and weaker day by day until I finally reach the point where I can't even get outta bed and I'm gaspin' out my last breath. I don't want those to be the last memories you have of me. I don't want the very last thing you remember about me to be you watching me die. I want your last memory of me to be you seein' me the way I am now, in my denim jacket, wearin' my helmet, about to take off on an adventure. _This _is how I want you to remember me."

After a long, contemplative pause, Edna finally said to Jo, "I know that when you were in the ICU this last time, I made a terrible mistake. As a registered nurse, I've watched a number of people die through the years, and when I knew it was going to happen to you too, I ran away from it all. I hid here in the kitchen rather than facing it, because I was certain my heart couldn't take watching that happen to you. But now I realize that as hard as that would be, it would be even harder watching you go out on the road in your condition all by yourself. I'd be worried sick. I know I failed you when I ran away the first time. But I assure you, Jo, that will _not _happen again. I won't make the same mistake twice. I know this is going to be painful for me, just like it was painful for you to see your friend Gloria die, but even though I know it won't be easy, I want to be there with you through this more than anything in the world. You can't push me away, Jo. Not now. Everybody's counting on me to help out with the graduation ceremony this Friday. Stay here until then. After graduation's over, you and I will hit the road together. We'll go anywhere you want to go."

"Are you really sure this is what you want?" Jo asked hesitantly.

"Absolutely," Edna answered while looking her square in the eyes.

"Okay," Jo said in an emotional whisper. "I'll wait."

Edna immediately threw her arms around Jo, gave her a fierce hug, kissed her cheek, and told her, "Thank you."

Jo nodded, and then they embraced once again.

* * *

Jo and Edna explained their plans to the girls as soon as they were all up the next morning, and they all expressed a strong desire to go along for the trip and spend their summer vacation with them. Obviously, Natalie, Tootie, and even Blair wanted to have as much time with Jo as possible. Natalie called her parents and convinced them to let her spend her summer vacation with Jo and Mrs. Garrett, and then Mrs. Garrett also talked with them and got them to agree to go along, knowing how helpful it would be to have a doctor and another nurse on standby for Jo's sake. And even though it was difficult, Tootie managed to convince her parents to allow her to spend her summer vacation with Jo and Mrs. Garrett as well.

Unfortunately, that Tuesday, Jo began coming down with a high fever and what appeared to be a chest cold, which only continued to worsen throughout Thursday and Friday. Mrs. Garrett diligently cared for Jo in that time and kept a very close eye on her, but seeing as how her condition had not improved by graduation day, she called Dr. Green and asked him to come up and take a look at her. Obviously, Jo was far too ill to even get out of bed during the graduation ceremony, and when all was said and done with graduation that day and Dr. Green arrived to examine Jo, he had some alarming news.

"It's not a chest cold. I'd need an X-ray to make absolutely certain, but based on what I'm hearing with my stethoscope, I'm convinced it's pneumonia," Dr. Green said gravely, talking alone with Mrs. Garrett and Mr. Parker just outside the girls' room.

"That's terrible," Mr. Parker gasped.

"It certainly is," Dr. Green concurred. "For the moment, at least, Jo's trip is out of the question. Her condition is far too critical for her to be moved. She should be in a hospital."

"But that isn't what Jo wants," Mrs. Garrett protested.

"But it's what she _needs_," Dr. Green insisted. "She needs medication. She needs to be on oxygen. And she needs to be monitored at all times."

"I agree with Dr. Green, Edna. Jo clearly needs far more help than we can provide for her here."

"I understand what you're saying, gentlemen. I am a registered nurse, you know. I well understand what Jo's medical needs are. But we also have to take her _emotional _needs into consideration. Jo has made it perfectly clear that the last thing she wants is to die all cooped up in some hospital room. I think we have to respect that."

"I think we have to respect Jo's wishes too," Blair chimed in, who had just climbed up the top step and entered the hallway. She then approached the men and told them, "Dr. Green, Mr. Parker, I'll talk to my parents. I'll see to it that all of Jo's medical needs are taken care of. Medication, IVs, oxygen, whatever Jo needs, I'll make sure it's brought here so that she can be properly cared for."

"And I'll be here with Jo twenty-four-seven. Like I mentioned a moment ago, I'm a registered nurse. I've taken care of people who were critically ill before. I know how to take care of Jo."

"And Natalie and Tootie and I have all agreed that we're staying here with Jo, too," Blair announced. "We all talked about it yesterday, and we agreed that if Jo was too sick to go on her trip, we'd stay here with her through the summer. So we'll all be here to help Mrs. Garrett."

"Natalie's spending her summer vacation here with her sick friend. Why am I not surprised?" said Dr. Green with a small grin, knowing full well how thoughtful – and stubborn – his daughter could be.

"I'm not sure this is appropriate, Edna," Mr. Parker said hesitantly. "After all, this is a boarding school for young girls, not a hospice."

"Mr. Parker, Eastland is not just a place where young girls come to learn about algebra and English lit. This school is their home away from home; it's a place where they learn about values and life in the real world. We don't shelter these girls from the harsh realities of life, Mr. Parker. _We prepare them for it. _That's our job," Edna said forcefully while looking into his eyes, and it was in that moment that Mr. Parker remembered back when she said those same words to him. It was a little over a year ago, when they were having a rather heated discussion on the topic of book banning at Eastland. Mr. Parker knew Mrs. Garrett was right then, and deep down, he knew she was right now. "The Eastland spirit is all about friendship and generosity," she continued. "By Blair, Natalie, and Tootie choosing to spend their summer vacation helping to care for Jo, they're being the very embodiment of what the true Eastland spirit is all about. Jo is barely conscious now, and yes, we could call an ambulance and have her taken to the hospital in this state and it might be a lot more convenient for everyone to have a hospital staff caring for her instead of us. But you know perfectly well, Mr. Parker, that it wouldn't be _right. _It's wrong to force something on someone that they clearly don't want. After everything that Jo's DNA donors have put her through all her life, hasn't she _earned _the right to die the way she wants?" In all this time, Mr. Parker had not been blind and deaf to the way the Polniaczeks had treated Jo throughout all of this, nor was he oblivious to the fact that they'd clearly abandoned their dying child, something he as a parent couldn't even begin to imagine.

Mr. Parker let out a long sigh, and then finally, he admitted, "Yes, I guess she has. Alright, Dr. Green, Edna, Blair. Get all the medicine and medical equipment and supplies in here that you need for Jo. Do whatever you have to do. And Edna, keep me apprised of Jo's condition."

Edna nodded and said, "I will."

Mr. Parker returned the nod, and then he turned around and left.

* * *

Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey, who were always a little overprotective of their youngest child, didn't want to agree at first to allow Tootie to remain at Eastland for her summer vacation to help Mrs. Garrett care for her terminally ill friend. It took a couple of longwinded, long-distance telephone conversations with Mrs. Garrett, as well as a lot of persistent nagging from Tootie, but they finally convinced them to let Tootie stay. Mrs. Green wasn't thrilled about Natalie staying behind at Eastland for the summer to help care for a dying friend, either. She too was fiercely protective of her only child, and she honestly felt Natalie was too young to deal with something like this. However, both Dr. Green and Mona were convinced that Natalie was mature enough to handle it, and they managed to bring Mrs. Green around and in the end, she reluctantly agreed to allow Natalie to stay as well.

As would be expected, both of Blair's "parents" were far too detached and wrapped up in their own selfish lives to really care about what was going on with their daughter. They each supported Blair in her decision to remain behind at Eastland for the summer to help take care of her sick friend, mostly because it meant that she would be out of their hair during the summer months and they wouldn't have to deal with her. However, even though neither one of them could ever hope to qualify for a Parent of the Year Award, at least they were good enough to see to it that all of Jo's medical needs would be met. They paid for all the medicine and medical supplies she would need, which in turn made it possible for Mrs. Garrett to care for her at Eastland.

During the first week of summer vacation, there was no change in Jo's condition. Even though she was receiving intravenous medications to help stabilize her heart and to help her fight off the pneumonia, they weren't much help because her body was in such a weakened state. Not long after all the medical supplies arrived for Jo, Edna had her moved from her bed in the girls' room into her private bedroom, where there would be more room for the IV and the oxygen, etc. Edna also wanted Jo to have her room so that she would be in a place with plenty of peace and quiet, making it easier for her to get the rest she needed.

The following Friday, one week after graduation, Jo's old friend Jessie and her Aunt Debbie came to visit her. As it had been throughout the week, Jo was barely conscious when they went into Mrs. Garrett's room to see her. They spent several hours just sitting quietly by her bedside, and then Debbie left because she had to go home early and get some rest since she had to be on an early morning flight out to Tokyo in several hours. A few minutes after Debbie left, Jessie was sitting around in the lounge with Mrs. Garrett and Natalie and Tootie (while Blair was upstairs with Jo), and they all got to talking.

"I'm glad you talked your boss into giving you the day off so you could come up here and spend some time with Jo," Tootie told her kindly.

"Eh, no sweat," Jessie said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I've been wantin' to come up here and check on Jo for a while now anyway. It's just a shame she didn't know I was there."

"Oh, I bet she knew," Mrs. Garrett reassured her in a warm voice. "You'd be surprised, Jessie. People who are unconscious or semi-conscious really can hear people talking to them sometimes."

"You know what the hardest part of all this is for me?" asked Natalie as she struggled not to break down and cry.

"What?" questioned Tootie.

"Going into Mrs. Garrett's room and seeing Jo lying on that hospital bed in there. So helpless. So lifeless. I'm just so furious that this happened to _Jo _of all people. Why couldn't this have happened to a serial killer? Or maybe to an emotionally abusive, narcissistic snake like Rose Polniaczek? _Why Jo? _Why is it always the _innocent _people who suffer the consequences of what all the mean-spirited people in this world do?"

After several long moments of silence, Edna shook her head and responded, "It just _looks _that way on the surface, Natalie. But the truth is, it's people like Mrs. Polniaczek who ultimately live the most miserable lives. People like Jo touch the people around them and they make a profound difference in the lives of others, and they love so deeply and they truly know how to connect with other human beings. They know how to have empathy for others and because of that, they're able to truly love and they're able to forge real, meaningful relationships. The only thing Mrs. Polniaczek can achieve is a fake, hollow existence. Oh, she can make herself look nice enough on the outside, and she can fool the people around her for a while, but she cannot ever know deep, real, lasting love because she is incapable of giving it. She may be physically alive. Her heart may be pumping blood and her lungs may be filling with air, but she'll never be alive _inside_, where it really counts.

"As a nurse myself, I know that if someone has been through the physical stress of a serious surgery, like Jo's open-heart surgery, and if they go into a stressful home and family environment afterwards, there will often be complications. And we all know that even though Jo did come here after her surgery, Mrs. Polniaczek talked to her on the phone several times and really upset her. Now I'm not trying to say with one hundred percent certainty that Jo's heart attack happened as a result of Mrs. Polniaczek's verbal and emotional abuse. But what I _am _saying is, I do believe it's a likely possibility. And it hurts to know that Mrs. Polniaczek has most likely killed Jo through her cruelty, and that while Jo's health will continue to decline, Mrs. Polniaczek will be doing whatever she wants to do in Miami. That's a bitter pill to swallow.

"But whenever I get to thinking about that and I start getting down, I remember that even though Jo doesn't have much longer, she has lived a better life and made a bigger impact on other people's lives in eighteen years than Mrs. Polniaczek could ever hope to in eighty. I remember how very much we all have loved Jo, and how much she has blessed us with her love, and I remember that Mrs. Polniaczek is incapable of either experiencing love or giving it. She may live to be eighty years-old, but even if she does, it won't mean anything. But Jo? Her eighteen years will _always _put Mrs. Polniaczek to shame. _Those _are the consequences people like Mrs. Polniaczek face in this life. Just think of it. Living a long life, living, say, eighty years on this earth, and every single day of it being shallow and worthless. Imagine living eighty years without ever being able to truly love anyone. I can't imagine a worse fate in this life than that. But Jo? Even though her life has been unfairly and cruelly cut short, _it means something. _Jo lived every day to the fullest. _She really lived_. And she really lived, because she really _loved._"

Several moments of silence followed, and then Natalie still looked angry when she finally said, "I still remember what Grandma said to us that day in the hospital, Mrs. Garrett. How she told us about feeling betrayed by God when He allowed her first love to be killed in the war, but in the end, it worked out for the best because if she'd married him, she would never have moved to America and married Grandpa and had Dad and me in her life. I keep thinking about that, and then I keep thinking about what's happening with Jo. I just can't see it, Mrs. Garrett. I can't see _how _Jo dying could possibly end up being a good thing. I still think God is cruel for allowing this to happen. Jo didn't do anything to deserve all these years of narcissistic abuse from Mrs. Polniaczek. Jo didn't do anything to deserve all these heart problems. And she _definitely _didn't do anything to deserve dying at age eighteen."

"I know, Natalie," Mrs. Garrett said sadly. "I know. I don't understand why we have to lose Jo now. I don't understand why the Lord won't just work a miracle for us and make Jo well again. I've certainly been praying for Him to. But in the end, we just have to remember that none of us created the earth in six days. None of us ever turned water into wine. None of us ever walked on water. We cannot understand the whole picture, girls. Only Jesus can. He knows what's best and we don't. We can't. Not with our finite human minds. I don't understand why it wouldn't be best for Jo to be made well again and for her to be allowed to live a long, happy life. But for some reason that none of us can understand right now, apparently, the good Lord does think it's in Jo's best interests to bring her Home now," she gasped as tears filled her eyes. "And as brutally painful as it is, we have to accept that."

Again, a deafening silence filled the room for a little while. But then, Tootie suddenly made a surprising statement.

"I think the Lord is trying to make a point," said Tootie, clearly lost in thought.

"Make a point? What do you mean?" asked Natalie.

"If Jo had gotten better and stayed better, that would have been the end of it. We would have said to ourselves, 'Oh gee, it sure is a shame Mrs. Polniaczek put Jo through all that emotional abuse over the years, but at least she's better now and at least she spends most of the year away from Mrs. Polniaczek.' And then we would have moved on with our lives without giving issues like narcissism and verbal abuse and emotional abuse a second thought. When people think about child abuse or domestic abuse, they always think about things like physical violence or sexual assault. Most people don't really take verbal abuse or emotional abuse seriously. Like Jo's told me before when we've talked about it, people can't imagine what it's like living with a narcissist, so whenever a victim of a narcissist tries to come out and talk about what they've been through, most of the time, they're not respected and they're not taken seriously. Especially not if their age isn't a high enough number. Maybe God was afraid that if Jo got better again, we'd all just pick up and move on with our lives and forget the lessons He wanted to teach us about what this kind of abuse can do to people, especially to kids. Mrs. Garrett, you said it yourself a couple of minutes ago that it's a likely possibility that Jo suffered complications because of all the emotional stress she endured thanks to Mrs. Polniaczek's abuse. I think God is trying to make us all understand just how serious verbal abuse and emotional abuse really is. Now that we actually have to watch Jo die because of it, we don't get the option anymore to just forget about it and move on with our lives. _Verbal abuse kills. Emotional abuse kills. Narcissism kills. Cruel words kill. _And watching Jo die because of things like narcissism, selfishness, verbal abuse, and emotional abuse, is going to burn this lesson into our memories forever. And maybe God _wants _it that way so that we _all _will dedicate the rest of our lives working to do something about it."

Stunned by Tootie's unexpected, deeply profound words of wisdom, everyone just sat quietly together, lost in thought for a good long while. Several minutes later, Jessie announced that she needed to get back home and she said goodbye to everyone.

On her way out the back door, she slapped Tootie on the back and told her, "You really know how to make people think, kid."

Jessie left then, and in the next moment, Mrs. Garrett laid a gentle hand on Tootie's shoulder. "She's right, Tootie," she assured her. "You really _do _know how to make people think. And I thank you for what you said."

"So do I, Tootie," Natalie said quietly. Tootie then responded with a simple nod, still lost in thought, herself.

* * *

Upstairs in Mrs. Garrett's room, Blair was sitting quietly by Jo's bedside as she slept. She was now lying in a hospital bed that had been set up in there for her, and she was wearing an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth to help her breathe. She also had an IV in her arm and was receiving several intravenous medications to try and help her heart and lungs. Many people would have felt pity for Jo after looking at her. After all, she appeared so weak and helpless. However, when Blair looked at her, she felt the exact opposite of pity. She felt _admiration. _Jo had endured so much agony in the past at the hands of her DNA donors, and they'd abandoned her right at the very moment in her life when she needed true parents the most. Now, Jo was enduring another kind of agony as her body was breaking down, yet she hadn't quit. She hadn't given up the fight. After going through _so much_, she was _still _hanging in there. She was _still _holding on. Blair knew that Jo was simply…_amazing._

After Blair had sat at Jo's bedside for a long while that evening, something happened that she didn't expect. She saw Jo open her eyes.

The instant that happened, Blair scooted up closer to Jo, took Jo's hand in hers, and said with a warm smile, "Hi, Jo."

Jo blinked a couple of times, and then she reached up, took off the oxygen mask, and said with a raspy whisper, "Hey."

"I guess if I were to ask, 'How are you feeling?' it would be a stupid question, huh?"

"Nah. It's not stupid. It shows that you care. Caring is never stupid."

Blair smiled again, and she gave Jo's hand a loving squeeze. She then asked, "Is there anything I can do for you? Is there anything I can bring you? Do you want something to drink? A bite to eat, maybe?"

"No thanks. I don't want anything. Just hang out with me for a while. That's all I want."

"I'm not going anywhere," Blair said gently.

A few quiet moments passed between them, and then Jo looked into Blair's eyes and told her, "Blair, we both know I don't have a lot of time left. I think it's time that you and I finally cut through all our bull and started being really honest with each other."

"Honest about what?"

"About our friendship. About everything. On the surface, I've always pretended to be hard and tough because it seemed like every single time that I ever let my true feelings show when I was a kid, I got burned for it. Badly. And when it comes to you, on the surface, you've always pretended to be a spoiled snob who doesn't care about anybody but herself. But you know who I really am underneath my Bronx barbarian act, and I know who you really are underneath your spoiled princess act. I know that underneath all your bull, you really do care about people. You're just like me. You're afraid to really show it because every time you have shown your heart to people in the past, like to your DNA donors for example, you always got burned, just like I did."

Visibly unnerved by Jo's piercing, truthful words, Blair impatiently asked, "What's your point?"

"My point is, you're my best friend. I've always been too stubborn to admit it before, but it's time to admit it now. You're my best friend, and I'm yours. We don't like to admit it, but way deep down, you and I really care about each other, and we always have."

Blair nodded and said, "You're right, Jo. You're right about everything you just said."

After a long silence, Jo asked, "What happened to me all this time, Blair? Did I pass out or somethin'?"

"You've been in and out of consciousness the past week. On graduation day, Mrs. Garrett had Dr. Green come by and examine you. According to Dr. Green, you have pneumonia."

"Pneumonia? Oh, man," Jo groaned.

"I'm really sorry to have to tell you this, but Dr. Green says you're too ill to go on your trip with Mrs. Garrett. That's why Mrs. Garrett had everything set up for you here in her room, the hospital bed, the oxygen, the IV, so that you wouldn't have to be in the hospital. She knew you didn't want that."

Jo appeared skeptical as she studied Blair's face the next couple of moments, and then she asked, "Did _Mrs. G. _pay to have all this set up…_or did you?_"

Hesitantly, Blair said, "You promise not to get angry?"

Jo's face softened as she answered, "I won't get angry. Just tell me. Did you do all this?"

"Yes," Blair said quietly. "Well…Mrs. Garrett and I did it together. I paid for everything, and Mrs. Garrett convinced Mr. Parker to let us all stay here for the summer and help take care of you. You know Mrs. Garrett's a nurse, and she's been your own personal guardian angel throughout all of this, taking care of you and watching over you."

"Blair, I…I don't know what to say. You've already done so much. You paid for my surgery, now this. I don't know how to thank you."

Blair smiled and told her, "I think you just did. And anyway, I don't think I should be thanked. As a matter of fact, I think I'm the one who needs to say, 'I'm sorry.'"

"Sorry? What for?"

"When Natalie first explained to me what was going on with your heart and how you needed surgery to correct the problem, she told me point-blank that I had a real problem with wanting to take everything that happened in our lives and twist it to make it all about me; that even when I did something nice for someone, I liked to use it as an excuse to brag about myself. Natalie's words really hurt, but I did some hard thinking, and I eventually realized that she was right. So when I talked to Daddy about taking care of your operation, I swore to myself that I wouldn't say a word about it to anyone, especially you, because I knew it would probably make you angry if you knew the truth. I knew you would probably feel like some charity case, even though nothing could be farther from the truth. I didn't want to risk upsetting you. And I didn't say a word to anyone. Unfortunately…Daddy did. When we first got to the hospital after your accident, he couldn't stop talking about it – _loudly __– _within earshot of Mrs. Polniaczek."

"I don't understand, Blair. What's your point?"

"My point is, I know that when you were in the hospital after your surgery, Mrs. Polniaczek really upset you because she got on your case about my family paying for everything. I feel awful. No one was supposed to know. I had no idea Daddy would do that. What Mrs. Polniaczek did to you was the last thing I ever wanted to happen."

"Blair, come on. You know that's not your fault. The way Rose chewed me out in the hospital had nothin' to do with you. Even if you had managed to keep it all a secret from her, she still would've found somethin' to gripe at me about. That's just who she is."

"It just bothers me so much because I feel like…"

"Like what?"

"Like this whole thing with your heart was just a snowball effect that kept getting worse and worse and worse, resulting in your heart attack. And I feel like it all started that day with Mrs. Polniaczek in the ICU. I just wish I could go back and undo it all."

"Blair, my health didn't start goin' downhill that day in the ICU that Rose chewed me out. These problems have been goin' on inside me for years. None of this is your fault. None of this has anything to do with you, or with Mr. Warner."

After a long silence, Blair looked down at her feet and sighed, and then she told Jo, "There I go, doing it again, without even realizing it. I _do _feel awful about what Daddy did after your surgery, Jo, and I despise what Mrs. Polniaczek put you through as a result. But still, just by me bringing it up, I twisted what you're going through and made it all about me; turned it into an excuse to turn all the attention on myself instead of you. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I'm used to it by now," Jo teased.

"If it makes you feel any better, I really am going to work on that from now on. I've lived out my little spoiled princess persona all these years, and I honestly didn't think it was hurting anyone. But now, I see what can happen to innocent bystanders if a person is living a life of constant self-centeredness and it always goes unchecked."

"Yeah. You turn into a narcissistic snake and you kill your kid."

"Yeah," Blair sighed.

"You don't have to worry, Blair. You're a snob and you're a real jerk sometimes, but you're not cruel like Rose always has been. People like Rose don't have a conscience and they don't care if they really hurt someone, even if that someone is their own child. You do have a conscience, and you do care about other people. You just need to start doing a better job of showing it, and you need to learn to take your mind off yourself more often."

Knowing deep down in her soul that Jo was right, Blair nodded and said, "Thanks, Jo. I will."

"Good."

Seeing that Jo was starting to get tired again, Blair got up from her seat and told her, "Well, I'll get out of here now and let you get some rest." Blair patted Jo's hand, and then she turned around and began walking out the door.

"Hey," Jo's voice called out, and in that moment, Blair turned around.

She then walked back up to the side of Jo's bed and asked, "What is it, Jo?"

"They're wrong."

"Who's wrong?"

"Your par–Mr. and Mrs. Warner. They're wrong, Blair."

"Wrong about what?"

"They've been rejecting you all your life. They rejected you by turning you over to a bunch of nannies and refusing to ever spend any real quality time with you when you were a little kid. They rejected you by shippin' you off to be raised by a boarding school instead of raising you themselves like true parents should. They rejected you by willfully choosing to almost never be a part of your life. They've rejected you from day one, just like Rose and Charlie rejected me. _And they're wrong, Blair. _They've always been wrong to reject you. Always. It was never your fault. It was always _their _fault. Remember that. Hang onto that."

Now visibly fighting off tears, Blair gasped, "I will, Jo. Thank you."

Jo nodded, and then she quickly and easily drifted off to sleep again, and Blair quietly tiptoed out of Mrs. Garrett's room.


	9. The Last Rainstorm

**A/N:** See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

**Chapter 9: The Last Rainstorm**

Despite the pneumonia, Jo continued to linger for another two weeks. Dr. Green had to come by several times to drain excess fluid from Jo's lungs, and even though it was certainly an uncomfortable process, Jo was able to breathe easier afterwards. In that time, she drifted in and out of consciousness, and Mrs. Garrett and the girls diligently cared for her. Thankfully, there were a number of times when Jo was fully awake and alert and able to have conversations with her loved ones, and those times were deeply cherished by Mrs. Garrett, the girls, and Jo.

Finally, one rainy Saturday morning, their whole world changed forever. When Edna first got up that morning and went into her bedroom to check on Jo, she found she wasn't there. Edna was particularly concerned to see that Jo had apparently taken the IV needle out of her arm. She checked the bathroom and everywhere upstairs, and then she and the girls went downstairs and searched in the kitchen, cafeteria, and lounge, to no avail. At last, Edna spotted Jo while looking out one of the kitchen windows. She was sitting outside in the large white wicker rocking chair, just calmly rocking back and forth, watching the rain fall, and allowing herself to get drenched.

Edna instantly shot outdoors, looked at Jo, and asked, "Jo, what in the world are you doing out here?"

With a serene smile, Jo simply looked back at Edna and replied, "I'm watching the rain fall. I'm listening to it. I'm enjoying it. I'm feeling the raindrops on my skin. It's a nice feeling. I like it."

"What's going on?" asked Blair as she and Natalie suddenly popped outside.

"Did you find Jo?" Natalie questioned.

Mrs. Garrett pointed then and whispered, "She's right there."

"She's soaked!" Blair cried out. "She must be out of her mind."

"The word is _altered_, Blair," Natalie corrected her. "Jo's _altered._ As in, confused, disoriented, not in her right state of mind. It's the oxygen deprivation. Her heart can't get enough oxygen to her brain, so she's confused and she's doing things she wouldn't normally do. Like sitting outside in the rain and getting soaked."

"Guys, I may be dyin'," Jo called from the rocking chair, "but I'm not goin' deaf. I can hear every word you're sayin'. I'm not 'altered,' I'm not 'confused,' and I'm not 'disoriented.' I'm enjoying my last rainstorm. That's all. You can all relax, and you can all go back inside."

Edna then approached Jo, knelt down to get at eye level with her, and said, "Jo, you can't stay out here in this rain. You'll make yourself sick."

Jo laughed out loud in that moment, and then she told Edna, "That's pretty redundant by now, don't ya think?"

"What I mean is, you'll make yourself even sicker than you already are."

"Ma, listen to me. You may have a lot more chances to feel the rain on your skin, but I don't. This is my last storm. _Ever. _This is my last chance to ever feel the rain on my skin in this life. Don't take this away from me, Ma. Let me feel every drop I can."

"We'll compromise. If you let us help you back inside and get you dried off and warm, we'll move your bed as close to the window as we can get it, and you can watch the rain from the window. How does that sound?" After a hesitant pause, Edna put her hand on Jo's arm and gazed intently into her green eyes as she said, "Please, honey. I'm so worried about you."

Jo knew beyond a doubt in those moments that Edna was sincere; that there was absolutely _no _angle whatsoever, like there always had been with Rose and Charlie. Had it been Rose kneeling in front of her, trying to convince her to come back inside, it would have been so she could play the part of The Saintly Mother in front of others, or for some kind of self-serving ulterior motive. With Edna Garrett, there was never, ever, _ever _an angle, and there never would be. The _only _thing she cared about was her well-being.

Out of the blue, Jo just suddenly grabbed Edna and kissed her cheek and gave her the fiercest hug. As she clung to Edna, she whispered in her ear, "I love you more than anything. Don't you ever forget that."

In that moment, Edna whispered in Jo's ear, "I love you even more."

At last, Jo said, "I'll go back inside if you want me to, Ma."

"Thank you," Edna whispered, and then she motioned for Blair and Natalie to come over and help her get Jo inside.

* * *

About twenty minutes later, Edna had Jo nice and dry, all settled back in bed, underneath a mountain of blankets to help warm her up. She was true to her word, and she and the girls moved the hospital bed as close to the bedroom window as they could get it so Jo could watch the rain falling outside. She also got Jo hooked back up to her IV and put her oxygen mask back on her face. After Edna got Jo settled in bed and she and Blair and Natalie had the opportunity to get dried off themselves, she pulled up a chair and just sat quietly next to Jo for about ten minutes. While Edna sat quietly with her and gently stroked her hand, Jo just rested her eyes, listened to the rain, and relaxed.

Jo then opened her eyes once again, took off her oxygen mask, turned her head towards Edna, and asked her, "Would you do something for me, Ma?"

"Of course, honey."

"Would you make me a cup of hot chocolate?"

"I'd love to. I'll be right back."

"Thanks," Jo whispered.

Edna got up from her seat in that moment, lovingly kissed Jo on the forehead, and then went downstairs to the kitchen to make Jo's hot chocolate.

* * *

"Thanks, Ma. That was good," Jo said quietly a few minutes later. (Jo had taken off her oxygen mask so she could drink her hot chocolate.)

Edna, sitting in a chair next to Jo's bed, stroked her hand and told her with a warm smile, "You're more than welcome. It was a good idea. Today's the perfect day for a nice cup of hot chocolate."

"Well, now that I've had my hot chocolate, it's time to get down to business. I have some important stuff I need to talk to you about."

"I'm listening."

"I know you know that the money I was gonna use to take a trip this summer is in my backpack, and that you locked it up in your closet where it would be safe."

"Yes. Your backpack and all your money and belongings in it are in the bedroom closet."

"I think we both know by now that my summer trip is not happening, so when this whole thing is over…when I've left this body behind…I want you to take the money and hold onto it. Put it in the bank, sew it into your mattress, whatever. Just keep it. And if you ever have another…what did you call it? Monetary crisis? Yeah, that's it. If you ever have another monetary crisis like the one you had a year and a half ago, the money will be there for you."

It was a real struggle for Edna not to break down into sobs right then and there. Even though she was so gravely ill, the child was trying to take care of her. It really tore Edna to shreds inside. She responded by climbing into bed next to Jo and cradling her in her arms, just as any real mother would do with her own daughter.

Several moments later, Edna kissed the top of Jo's head and whispered, "Don't you worry about me now. You let me worry about taking care of me, okay? You just relax right now and let us love you. That's all you need to think about."

"I don't want a funeral," Jo continued. "I've always hated funerals. I think they're depressing and pointless and a waste of money. You guys don't have to waste an afternoon cryin' at some dumb funeral to remember me. If you wanna remember me, remember me by the way you live your lives. Use your brains. Don't act stupid. Don't be jerks to people. Make a difference. That's how you remember me. Got it?"

With an understanding nod, Edna responded, "Got it."

"Good. And tell that to the girls, too."

"I will."

"And another thing I think is stupid is spendin' a ton of money just so you can bury someone in a fancy box."

"Jo, please," Edna whispered. "Let's not talk about this anymore. You need to rest now. You've had a rough morning. Try to get some sleep for a little while, sweetheart."

"I have plenty of time to sleep, Ma. But not a lot of time left to have this discussion with you. I know this sort of thing isn't fun to talk about, but it's important. I need you to listen to me now."

Blinking back tears, Edna whispered, "I'm listening."

"Like I was sayin', no funeral, and no unnecessary burial with a fancy casket. I want you to be practical with the money I'm leavin' to you. I don't want you wastin' half of it on some dumb funeral and fancy coffin that I don't need or care about. Just cremate me and let that be the end of it. Scatter my ashes anywhere you want to. I don't care. I'm leavin' that up to you. I know you'll find a good place."

"Oh, Jo," Edna gasped through her tears, and then she kissed Jo's cheek.

"After you've had me cremated, hold onto the rest of the money so you'll have it in case something unexpected happens and you need it. Okay?"

After a long pause, Edna reluctantly said, "Okay."

"You promise?"

"Yes. I promise you, I'll do everything exactly like you want."

"Now, as for my bike, give it to Jessie for the time-being. Jessie doesn't need another bike; she has one of her own, but I want her to hold onto it and take care of it for a while. She's almost as good a mechanic as I am and there's nobody I would trust more with my bike than her."

"I'll see to it."

"Tell Jessie to take care of my bike until either Natalie or Tootie turns sixteen. Then when they're old enough to drive my bike, whichever one of them wants it can have it. Just be sure that they listen to Jessie when she teaches them everything they need to know to take care of a bike. It's way different than owning a car."

"Don't worry. I'll take care of everything, just as you said."

"Good. And save my helmet and my jacket for them, too. Whoever decides to take my bike, they should also have my helmet and my jacket."

"I will."

"Thanks."

"Of course."

They remained silent for the next few moments, and Edna thought Jo had drifted off to sleep, but then she heard Jo sniffle a bit and she realized that she was crying.

"Jo, honey, what's the matter?"

"Nothin'. I'm just a little emotional right now; that's all."

"What is it, honey? What's on your mind? Talk to me."

"Sometimes…I think of life like one long ride on my bike. Sometimes it's a fun, exciting adventure. Sometimes you run into trouble on the road. Sometimes you crash and burn and you get hurt real bad. My life…it's been a real hard ride, Mom. You understand what I'm sayin'?"

Edna nodded and whispered, "Yes, my precious girl. I know exactly what you're saying. You've been abandoned, betrayed, and constantly disrespected by the two people who were supposed to love you more than anyone on earth. And you've been surrounded by other people who couldn't understand the hell you were enduring because of their own ignorance and prejudice. You've been in agony for so long, and we didn't know. _I _didn't know. And I wasn't there for you. Not like I should have been all this time."

"You're here for me now. You understand now. That's all that matters."

"I know they hurt you," Edna whispered, stroking Jo's cheek. "I know they hurt you so badly, and I know you didn't do anything to deserve it. I just hope _you _know that. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like being rejected by your own parents, but it was _never, ever _your fault, Jo. Do you hear me? It was _never _your fault. You just had the terrible misfortune to be born to two horrifically stupid, blind people who didn't deserve a gift like you. But I want you to know that I couldn't possibly love you any more had I given birth to you myself. And I also want you to know that if I could trade places with you and take your illness upon myself so that you could be healthy, I would do it in a heartbeat."

"It feels so good to know you love me that much."

"I always have, Jo. I always have."

"I know. I love you too."

"I know that. You are the most thoughtful and loving and wonderful daughter a mother could ever possibly hope for. And I'm so grateful to God that you're mine."

"You know I'd stay here with you longer…if I could."

"I know," Edna whispered as a single tear fell from her eye. "I know. But I also know that on both the inside and the outside, you have been through hell. I know you need to stop and rest now. I understand. I really do."

Jo nodded then and said, "I'm ready for what's coming next. I was scared for a little while, but when I saw Jesus in that dream, it gave me the same kind of feeling that I have being in your arms. I never felt safer or more loved than I felt in that dream, and it's the same way I feel now. I know I'm safe, and I know everything will be okay. Better than okay. I'll be in the arms of Jesus, walking streets of gold."

"Yeah," Edna gasped as more silent tears filled her eyes. "You know, uh…when you're in the good Lord's arms, walking those streets of gold, all busy enjoying Jesus and enjoying heaven…you won't forget how much I love you, will you?"

"No, Ma. I won't forget."

Edna kissed the top of Jo's head in that moment and whispered, "Good."

"If I go to sleep now, will you stay with me? I mean…not just until I go to sleep. For a long time. Will you stay a while?"

"Oh precious, I'm not going anywhere. You just go to right to sleep for as long as you need to. I'll be right here with you."

Jo nodded, and after another kiss from Edna, she rested her head on Edna's chest, clung to her, and drifted into the sweetest sleep inside Edna's protective embrace. Edna watched over Jo like a hawk while she fell asleep, and held onto her just like a new mother would cling to her cherished newborn.

Ten minutes later, Jo stopped breathing.


	10. One Day

**A/N: **See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.

**Chapter 10: One Day**

Edna did everything just the way Jo wanted. Seeing as how neither one of her "parents" were there to take care of the final details, it was all left in Edna's hands, and she followed Jo's wishes to the letter. The morning after Jo's body was cremated, Edna, Jessie, Nat's parents, Mona, and the girls were all gathered together in the lounge, talking about Jo. Edna, Dr. and Mrs. Green, and Mona were all sitting together on the loveseat, Jessie was sitting in one of the living chairs, and Blair, Natalie, and Tootie were standing together behind the loveseat.

"I still think we should have had a funeral," said Blair. "We should have done something special to remember Jo."

"I told you before, Blair. That's not what Jo wanted," Edna responded.

"I think Jo was right," said Jessie. "I think she knew what she was doin'."

"What do you mean?" asked Tootie.

"If you guys had had a funeral, word wouldda reached Jo's Aunt Evelyn, and Evelyn wouldda told Rose and Charlie. And mark my words, had they found out the time and place of Jo's funeral, one or maybe even both of 'em wouldda had the nerve to show their ugly, stupid faces there. And they wouldda turned it all around, made it all about _them_ instead of Jo. With those snakes at Jo's funeral, it wouldn't have been about honoring Jo or paying Jo respect. It wouldda been about poor widdle Rose and Charlie and everything _they've_ been through. They wouldda used their own kid's funeral to try and get attention and praise and sympathy outta people. That's just who they are. That's how snakes and cowards operate. Jo was smart. She was real smart not to give them the chance to selfishly use her in death, like they always used her in life."

"Abandoning your sick, dying child when she needs you the most. Using your own child's death for such selfish, sick things. It's unthinkable," Mona said quietly with her thick Russian accent. "I can't even imagine."

"I know it's hard to imagine, Ma, but as utterly insane as it is, there actually are people like that in the world," said Dr. Green. "As a doctor, I've seen things over the years that would blow your mind. There really are parents, or as Jo put it, DNA donors, who care nothing about their own children. Or who care more about their drug habits or their alcohol or their abusive partner than they do about their kids, and they just throw their kids under the bus without caring about the deep level of devastation it puts their kids through. It's tragic. Beyond tragic. There…there's just no words for this kind of evil."

"Charlie Polniaczek threw Jo under the bus. That's for sure," said Jessie. "When Rose was destroying their family with that evil tongue of hers, Charlie couldn't take it, and he ran out on Jo like the pathetic coward he is. He didn't care that he was leavin' Jo behind in a world of misery. He didn't care how bad it hurt her when he abandoned her. He only cared about himself."

"In my psychology class, we talked about narcissists," Natalie chimed in. "Our teacher said that narcissists almost always had partners who enabled them; who refused to stand up to them and do anything about their terrible behavior, even if the narcissist abused their own children. Mr. Polniaczek sounds like an enabler to me. And as confusing as narcissists like Mrs. Polniaczek can be, I'm even more confused by the enablers who help make all of their abuse possible in the first place."

"Enablers sound even worse to me than the narcissists," Mrs. Green commented.

"They are worse," Jessie confirmed. "As horrible as it is to act the way Rose did, it's even worse to know what a snake like Rose does to her kid and to just stand by and do nothin' about it. For those of you who haven't lived it like Jo and I have, you don't know. You have no idea what it does to a kid inside to know that one of your own parents _knows _the other one is a threat to you and to know that they don't care enough about you to do anything about it."

"You're right, Jessie," Edna said gently. "Those of us who have never lived through it the way you and Jo have can never fully understand. But I want you to know that you're not alone. You're a member of this family too, and anytime you need me, I'm here for you. I mean that with all my heart."

Not wanting to show too much emotion, Jessie responded with a simple nod.

A moment later, Tootie said with tears freely flowing from her eyes, "I wish I had known what Jo was going through. I wish I could have done something to help her."

"So do I, Tootie," said Nat as she, too, began to cry. "So do I."

"How are we supposed to go on without her?" Tootie asked through her tears. "We're supposed to be The Four Musketeers. We're supposed to be together forever."

Natalie then lovingly wrapped her arm around Tootie's shoulders and said, "I know, Tootie. I know."

"You know one thing about this that really hurts me and makes me angry?" asked Blair.

"What?" questioned Edna.

"Jo got robbed of so much throughout her life. All through her childhood, she was rejected by her own parents. Then when she got really sick, she couldn't even have the one last thing she wanted in life. To go to the Grand Canyon and the Rocky Mountains and California on her bike. From cradle to grave, Jo was always getting robbed."

"It makes me angry too," said Natalie. "I've been angrier at God than anyone for allowing all of this to happen to Jo. But even though I'm still so angry, I have to say that Jo's death really got my attention."

"What do you mean?" Blair asked.

"It made me start thinking, I mean _really thinking_, about where I actually stand with God. We always like to think we have forever, so we tend to put off making things right with God. Despite everything she was going through, Jo had an indescribable peace inside. _She knew _where she was going when she died. And even though death itself was staring her in the face, she wasn't afraid. I realized the day Jo died that I didn't have that same certainty. And I realized that I wanted to. So yeah, I'm still hurt and angry that Jesus decided to take one of my closest friends on earth away from me, and it's going to take some time, a lot of time, for me to work through it. But even though it's really hard right now, I am putting my trust in Christ."

"I'm in the exact same place you are, Natalie," Blair admitted. "For a long time, I was so angry at God for allowing my parents' divorce to go through. The night before their divorce was going to be finalized, I pleaded and begged all night long for God to do something to stop it. When He didn't, I felt so betrayed by Him. I've been furious at God for years, just over my parents' divorce. Then when He decided not to heal Jo, that only made it worse for a while. I'm still not on the best of terms with God right now, but I do know that after all these years of being angry at Him, I'm tired. I don't want to do it anymore. And just like you said, Natalie, I also want the same kind of peace that Jo had. And I recently realized that I was never going to have that peace in my life until I just broke down and swallowed my pride and put my trust in Jesus, once and for all. I still don't understand why God had to take Jo away from us, but even though it's hard, it does give me peace to know that I'm trusting in Jesus to take care of Jo's spirit."

Mona got up from her seat in that moment, went around to where the girls were standing, and told them, "I know it hurts, girls. I know this is the most painful thing that has ever happened to you. But even though it's so hard, you all just keep clinging to your faith in the Lord. And you all just remember that Jo is in heaven now. Everything that she was robbed of in this life is being repaid to her one hundred fold. I believe that with all my heart. She doesn't need the Grand Canyon or the Rocky Mountains or California. She's with Jesus Christ. She's in heaven. And I assure you, she is experiencing more joy at this very moment than any of us can imagine."

Blair nodded and whispered, "Thanks, Mona."'

Mona nodded, and then she put her arms around Blair, Natalie, and Tootie and gave them all a ferocious hug.

A few moments later, Dr. and Mrs. Green announced to Natalie that it was time for them to start heading home. After a lot of hugs and emotional goodbyes to Mrs. Garrett and the girls, Natalie left with her parents to spend the rest of the summer with them. Not long after they were gone, Jessie said goodbye and left as well.

A couple of minutes after Jessie had gone, Blair sensed it that Mrs. Garrett wanted to talk with Mona alone.

"Come on, Tootie. Let's go into the kitchen and make ourselves a snack, huh?"

"Okay," Tootie said quietly, and then she and Blair left the lounge.

As soon as they were alone, Edna rose from her seat, walked up to Mona, and told her, "Thank you, Mona. Thank you so much for what you said to the girls."

"It was my pleasure. I'm glad Blair and Tootie will be spending the rest of the summer here with you. I know their presence will be a real comfort to you, especially now."

"It certainly will be," Edna agreed. Then a moment later, she said, "Thank you for coming up here with Natalie's parents today, Mona. It's always a joy to see you."

"It's always a joy to see you too, my dear. Oh Edna, I can only imagine what you must be going through now. How are you holding up?"

"I'm here," Edna said with a tired sigh. "That's about all I can say at the moment."

"I know what you mean. Just remember, as agonizing as it is now, it does eventually start to get a little easier."

Edna shook her head and argued, "I don't know about that, Mona. When my parents died years ago, it hurt so badly, especially the first year after their passing, but after that, it did start getting easier and easier. But this is different. I feel like…I feel like my whole world has come to an end."

"In a way…it has. Your world, your family as you knew it with you and with _all _of your girls, is no more. That's an incredibly painful thing to have to accept."

"I don't know if I can," Edna gasped.

"As much as it hurts, you have no choice. I wish I could tell you that you'll be able to get over this soon, but that's not the truth. The loss of a child…you _never _get over it, Edna. You just…get on with it."

"I wish somebody would tell me how," Edna said bitterly.

"You take it…one step at a time. One moment at a time. One hour at a time. One day at a time. You let yourself and your girls feel the pain as it comes, and when it comes, you cry it out, and you comfort each other and you love each other through this. And then, you choose to go on living as best you can. And you remember that by living well, by spending your life loving God and others, you're honoring your child's memory."

Edna nodded and said, "You're right, Mona. And the girls and I have been talking, and that's just what we're going to do. Jo may have had a lot of health problems that went undetected and ultimately resulted in her death, but the girls and I are convinced that it's really Rose Polniaczek's narcissistic abuse that killed Jo. Mrs. Polniaczek subjected Jo to terrible verbal and emotional abuse at crucial points in her recovery, and I think she willfully, purposefully did whatever she could to obstruct Jo's recovery. As a nurse, I've seen it before. People who have major surgery, especially open-heart surgery, and are then sent home to stressful home environments, are often more likely to suffer complications. The girls and I have seen it for ourselves, and we'll never be the same. After witnessing it happen to Jo, we know that things like narcissism and verbal abuse and emotional abuse really do kill. And we've all agreed that from here on out, we're going to spend our whole lives taking a stand against it.

"Blair has decided that since Jo can't become a teacher and touch kids' lives like she wanted to, she's going to do it for her. She's still majoring in art at Langley this fall, but now, she's planning on becoming an art teacher. And she's going to be there for her students, and if any of her students come to her and confides in her about going through the same kind of hell Jo endured, she's not going to make the same mistakes I made. She's not going to take this prejudiced mentality that parents can do no wrong and refuse to listen and refuse to take a child abuse victim seriously. She's going to listen to that child, and she's going to treat that child with respect. And Natalie, as you know, is sticking to journalism, and she's going to use her gift of writing to give abused children everywhere the voice that they deserve."

"Yes, I know. And I couldn't be prouder of her."

"I feel the same way, about Natalie and all my girls."

"Natalie tells me that Tootie's plans have also changed."

"Yes. Tootie recognizes now that trying to get into show business is not a good idea. Practically nobody really makes it in that career, and the vast majority of the time, those that do have to sell their souls to the devil, _literally_, to get where they are. Celebrities' lives almost always get destroyed by Hollyweird and end in disaster, and that's not what Tootie wants. Her parents still have their hearts set on seeing Tootie become an attorney, but Tootie wants to go into social work now. She realizes the system that is _supposed _to protect kids is horribly broken, and she wants to spend her life doing everything she can to remedy that and help as many child abuse victims as she can."

"That's wonderful."

"Yes, it is, and like I said, I'm so proud of my girls. And, speaking of changes, there's going to be some changes in store for my life, too."

"What sort of changes?"

"Well, nothing big just yet. I'll still be working here at Eastland as the school dietician. But as you know, Jo had a large sum of money she was going to use to take a trip in the last days of her life, but because her illness worsened so fast, she wasn't able to do it. And Jo was very generous. She left the money to me, and I'm going to use it to take some night classes at Langley this fall. It's going to take a long time, especially with me working during the day, but I'm going to work on getting my degree in child psychology. And Lord willing, one day, I'll be working to help kids as a school counselor. I may even wind up working as a counselor here at Eastland one of these days."

"Oh, Edna, that's wonderful. That's positively wonderful. I know…I know your daughter will be looking down from heaven and feel so proud of her mama."

"I hope so," Edna whispered, and then she finally couldn't hold it in anymore, and she broke down into sobs.

Mona instantly pulled Edna into her arms and whispered, "I know, darling. I know. I know. It's alright. Just get it all cried out."

After having herself a good long cry for a few minutes, Edna straightened up, got the handkerchief out of her pocket, and wiped her eyes. Then she told Mona, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be silly. You have nothing to apologize for."

"I don't know. It just feels so wrong…talking about what we're all going to be doing next. What I'm going to be doing next. Even though I know that we have no choice but to go on with our lives now, _I don't want _our lives to go on. Not without Jo. It's not right. Our family is broken now. It's incomplete. And it breaks my heart."

"I know. But it's not going to stay that way forever. When you start to feel brokenhearted, you just remember that one day, you and your girls will be in heaven with Jo, and all this pain will be a distant memory. You hang on and you remember that one day, the family that you love so dearly _will _be whole again."

Edna nodded, and then once again, Mona took her into her embrace and let her cry.


End file.
